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Saesfields Newsletter

November 8, 2018

THE SASH Saturday September 26th 2010

 

The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.     

 

Pfizer SFC Round 4: Sarsfields 0-10 Maynooth 1-5

 

By Tony Ryan

Having already qualified for the Pfizer SFC quarterfinals by virtue of their victory over Clane in Round 3 the previous week, Sarsfields had to withstand a late Maynooth onslaught in Sallins on Saturday evening last which yielded them 3 points in the last six minutes.  It was the sum total of Maynooth’s second half scoring, and it wasn’t enough to deprive Sarsfields of their 100% record in the SFC to date. With Maynooth chasing a final 8 position it seemed they would require at least a draw in this game to guarantee qualification. As it transpired however a combination of Maynooth’s scoring average and results elsewhere meant that Maynooth joined Sarsfields in the last eight of the competition when all the permutations were taken into account on Saturday night.

The conditions were not conducive to good football with a heavy shower before the throw in and persistent rain throughout. Although mistakes were inevitable both sides deserve credit for the manner in which they adapted to the difficult underfoot conditions to produce a tough but sporting encounter with plenty of open passages of play.

Sarsfields were quickest to adapt and playing the ball long into the forwards as often as possible proved profitable. They were 3 points to the good after 12 minutes, Morgan O’Sullivan (0-1) and Alan Smith (0-2) in a game that was never going to be a high scoring contest due to the conditions. Maynooth had  three wides from kickable positions before full forward Pierre Ennis opened their  account in the 15th minute with and angled free from 20 metres on the left. Sarsfields responded with a well taken Alan Smith free from 25 metres after a foul on a goal bound Morgan O’Sullivan  to restore Sarsfields’ 3 point lead. Within 2 minutes the sides were level, 1-1 to 0-4 after the Sarsfields defence was caught napping when Cillian Carr was on hand to collect corner forward Paddy Comerford’s shot that rebounded off the upright and blast to the net from close range.

Sarsfields industrious attacking left half back Conor Tiernan scored an excellent point from 30 metres after a foray from the half back line in the 20th minute. Pierre Ennis pointed in the 25th minute to level matters once again with an equally good effort at the other end, before Morgan O’Sullivan edged Sarsfields ahead once more to give Sarsfields a slender 0-6 to 1-2 lead at the break.

 

  Despite Sarsfields losing two of their best forwards through injury, Morgan O’Sullivan at half time and Alan Smith within 3 minutes of the restart, who between them had scored 5 of their 6 first half points, it was Sarsfields who began the second half in dominant and determined mood from the throw in, with Gary White and Ciaran Dempsey providing the platform for attack from midfield. Alan Smith’s replacement, Michael Browne who with self-assurance began immediately to make his presence felt and take responsibility for the scoring in Smith’s absence, was the Sash hero of the second half scoring three unanswered second half points between the 36th and 45th minute to give Sarsfields a 4-point cushion, 0-9 to 1-2. With his all round work rate and pace in addition to his scoring ability he has certainly staked a serious claim for inclusion in the starting line up for the quarterfinal. His third point off his the outside of his left boot from about 25 metre out on the left wing was sublime, the best score of the game. A minute before Michael Browne got the second half scoring underway his colleague, Sarsfields’ goalkeeper Gavin Slicker made the save of the game showing great reflexes with a brilliant diving effort to prevent what seemed a certain Maynooth goal from Corner back Paul Cashin that would have given them the lead for the first time.

Sarsfields continued to dominate and it wasn’t until six minutes remained that John McAndrew scored Maynooth’s first point of the second half to reduce the deficit to 3 points, 0-9 to 1-3 Padraig Brennan replied with a 30 metre free restored Sarsfields Sarsfields 4 point advantage. Paddy Comerford reduced the gap to 3 again for Maynooth and in  the remaining frenetic 5 minutes of normal time Maynooth tried valiantly to get at least a draw. Substitute Conor O’Brien received a pass inside the Sarsfields fullback line and as he was about to bear down on goal he was a adjudged to have received an illegal pass much to the relief of the beleaguered Sarsfields rearguard. Although Pierre Ennis reduced the deficit to two points, 0-10 to 1-5 in the 28th minute, that was to be the final score of the game as the Sarsfields defensive sextet to a man defended tenaciously without conceding any frees in the final four minutes.   

 

Sarsfields: Gavin Slicker, Niall O’Callaghan, Sean Cambell, Conor Duffy, Niall Hedderman, Robert Murphy, Conor Tiernan(0-1) Ciaran Dempsey, Gary White, Eoin O’ Sullivan. Alan Smith (0-3). John Geraghty, David Earley, Morgan O’Sullivan (0-2) Robbie Confrey. Subs: Padraig Brennan (0-1f) for Morgan O’Sullivan (inj ht), Michael Browne (0-3) for Alan Smith( inj 33mins) Alan Barry for David Earley (46mins)

 

Maynooth: Paul Flood, Colm O’Neill, Sean Kennedy , Kevin Comerford, Paul Cashin, Niall Byrne, Alan McAndrew, Michael Bennett, Andrew O’Regan, Joe Gerry, John McAndrew, (0-1f) Cillian Carr (1-0) Conor Canning, Pierre Ennis (0-3) Paddy Comerford (0-1) Subs: Subs: Niall Naughton for Joe Gerry (45 mins), Conor O’Brien for Andrew O’Regan (45 mins), Adam Gunn for Cillian Carr (47
mins), John Comerford for Paddy Comerford (56 mins).

Referee: Liam Herbert, Sallins

 

 

Rebels lead football All-Star nominations

Kildare Third with 5 nominations

Cork’s march to their first All-Ireland SFC title since 1990 has been recognised with 11 of the Rebels squad shortlisted for the 2010 GAA Vodafone All-Star Football awards. Conor Counihan’s charges lifted the NFL Division 1 trophy and Sam Maguire Cup in 2010. Last Sunday’s slender win over Down at Croke Park capped off a fine season for the Leesiders. A total of 12 counties have players shortlisted for All-Star awards. Beaten All-Ireland finalists Down have the second highest number with seven nominees, semi-finalists Kildare are third highest with five nominees, and Dublin and Tyrone are next – both with four.

The Rebels have received just under a quarter of the 45 nominations, with at least one Cork player shortlisted for each line on the pitch. Only ten of the players nominated are previous All-Stars. Kerry duo Colm Cooper and Tomás Ó Sé are the most decorated nominees, with five All-Stars each. Indeed, only three members of last year’s All-Stars team are nominated – Cork duo Michael Shields and Graham Canty along with Kerry’s Tomás Ó Sé, who are all in line for awards in defence. None of the 2009 All Star midfield, half-forward line or full-forward line selection are among this year’s nominees. Notably, last year’s Footballer of the Year, Kerry’s Paul Galvin, has also failed to make the shortlist. Of the four provincial champions – all of whom were defeated at All-Ireland quarter-final stage – Tyrone fare the best with four nominees, with Kerry and Meath on three each and Roscommon on two. Beaten Leinster and Connacht finalists Louth and Sligo, respectively, were rewarded for their resurgent seasons with two nominees each, while Munster’s defeated finalists Limerick have one nominee (John Galvin) – one less than last year when they were also beaten provincial finalists.

2010 GAA VODAFONE ALL-STAR NOMINATIONS:

Goalkeepers –

Alan Quirke (Cork)

Brendan McVeigh (Down)

Pascal McConnell (Tyrone)

Full-backs –

Michael Shields (Cork)

Rory O’Carroll (Dublin)

Peter Kelly (Kildare)

Charlie Harrison (Sligo)

Philip McMahon (Dublin)

Justin McMahon (Tyrone)

Dan Gordon (Down)

John O’Brien (Louth)

Marc Ó Sé (Kerry)

Half-backs –

Paudie Kissane (Cork)

Kevin McKernan (Down)

Philip Jordan (Tyrone)

Emmet Bolton (Kildare)

Tomás Ó Sé (Kerry)

Graham Canty (Cork)

Noel O’Leary (Cork)

Joe McMahon (Tyrone)

Eamon Callaghan (Kildare)

Midfielders –

Aidan Walsh (Cork)

Paddy Keenan (Louth)

Michael Darragh Macauley (Dublin)

John Galvin (Limerick)

Kalum King (Down)

Nicholas Murphy (Cork)

Half-forwards –

Paddy Kelly (Cork)

Daniel Hughes (Down)

Graham Reilly (Meath)

Martin Clarke (Down)

Joe Sheridan (Meath)

John Doyle (Kildare)

Paul Kerrigan (Cork)

Seamus Kenny (Meath)

Cathal Cregg (Roscommon)

Full-forwards –

Daniel Goulding (Cork)

Bernard Brogan (Dublin)

Donie Shine (Roscommon)

Colm Cooper (Kerry)

Donncha O’Connor (Cork)

David Kelly (Sligo)

Benny Coulter (Down)

James Kavanagh (Kildare)

Padraic Joyce (Galway)

BREAKDOWN OF NOMINATIONS BY COUNTY:

Cork – 11

Down – 7

Kildare – 5

Tyrone – 4

Dublin – 4

Kerry – 3

Meath – 3

Roscommon – 2

Sligo – 2

Louth – 2

Galway – 1

Limerick – 1

 

 

 

 

Annual Night At The Dogs
The Sarsfields Night at the Dogs takes place on Saturday 2nd October.
Adult tickets to include a raffle for €1200 in prizes cost €10 . Children
will be free on the night with pre acquired Sarsfields child tickets . We
are looking for race sponsors at €350 per race to include a full page add in
the programme .
 Please contact Kevin McNulty at 087 2190876 or email Shane Campbell at
shane @hoygrove.ie.

 

Sarsfields Fixtures

 

SFC QF: Sarsfields V Naas at 2. 30 Sunday 26th September 2010  in St Conleth’s Park. The Intermediate Hurling final between Sarsfields and Broadford due to be played on Saturday 25th  has been postponed.

 

Underage News.

 

U5 to U7 Hurling coaching – 10.30 to 11.15 / U5 to U10 Football coaching –
11.15 to 12.30 every Saturday

October fixtures

More home fixtures have been arranged in October where we will endeavour to
give all children a game. The Academy football and hurling will continue
being coached on Saturday mornings. Hurling will start at 10.30 sharp
followed by football at 11.15.

 

 

 

Club Membership Discount Scheme

 

Sarsfields members can avail of a 10% discount when they show their membership cards while shopping at the following businesses that are participants of the Club Membership Discount Card Scheme.

Acupuncture and Sports Therapy – Gerry Loftus 16 lower Eyre Street.

Amazon Beauty Salon, Ballymany Shopping Centre, Newbridge

An Chistin Restaurant, George’s St, Newbridge

Attic Storage, Industrial Estate, Newbridge.

Biodental Dental Laboratory, Middle Eyre Street

Blooms Florist, Henry Street , Newbridger

Champions Sports, Whitewater, Shopping Centre

Chat & Chew , Café Edward St. Newbridge.

Chicken America Restaurant, Edward St Newbridge.

Clarke’s Menswear, Edward St, Newbridge

Cosgorve’s Pharmacy., Edward Sy Newbridge.

Curraghr Race Course.

Ecocraft, Environmental Building, Clongorey, Newbridge.

Edward Harrigans, pub and Restaurant. Main Street.

Enigma Design Homeware & Gifts, Tarmel Centre

Fallons Bar & Café Main Street, Kilcullen

Farrell & Nephew Gift & Bookshop, Main Street, Newbridge.

Fitzsimons Finance, Cutlery Road, Newbridge.

Hokey Pokey Café, Charlotte Street, Newbridge.

Jardin Royale , Chinese Restaurant, Main Street, Newbridge

Jean’s Jewellers  & Giftware, Henry Stret.

Joe Kelly Barber, George’s Street.

Kildare Tyres & Batteries, Cutlery Road, Newbridge.

LHW Insurances Group, 57/58/George’s Street Dun Laoghaire.

Lilywhite Print, Eyre Street, Newbridge.

Maginn Electrical, Curragh Camp.

Marty’s Cabs, Main Street Newbridge.

Michael Murphy Furniture, Edward Street, Newbridge.

Moores Builders Providers, Cutlery Road.

Newbridge Hire Service, Newbridge Industrial Estate.

Newbridge Van Rental, Newhall, Naas.

Newbridge Nutrition, Eyre Street.

O’Leary Shoes, Dunnes Stores, Newbridge

O’Reilly Pharmacy, Curragh Grange, Newbridge.

Owen Baker, Menswear, Charlotte Street, Newbridge.

Paul’s Riverside Restaurant, Market Square, Kilcullen.

Red Lane Driving Range, Red Lane , Newbridge.

Reflections Boutique, Moorefield Road, Newbridge.

Riozzi’s Take Away, Eyre Street.

Robbie’s Butchers, Highfield, Newbridge.

Sheehy Motors, Newbridge Road, Naas.

Stevenson’s Home Décor, Ballymany Shoppinf Centre, Newbridge.

Swift’s Bar  and Restaurant, Main Street, Newbridge.

Tarmel Laundry & Dry Cleaners, Cutlery Road, Newbridge.

The Fabric Library, Kildaara Industrial Estate, Newbridge.

The Good Food Gallery, Carnalway, Kilcullen.

The Kiosk Florists, Main Street, Newbridge.

Tom Malone Butchers, Charlotte Street, Newbridge

Top Twenty, Dunnes Stores Shopping Centre.

WE Fit Tyre & Exhaust Centre, Newbridge Industrial Estate.

Whitewater Café Club, Edward Street, Newbridge.

Whyte Melia Electrical, 882, Piercetown, Newbridge.

Sasrsfields On Facebook

Sarsfields now have 465 Fans on Facebook.

Sarsfields now has a Facebook Page where all sections can now post information directly relating to games, results events and photos etc. In addition there is a discussion forum. Link to Sarsfields  Facebook page can be found by scrolling down the home page of the Sarsfields website or by Googling Sarsfields GAA Facebook.

 


More Stupid Quotes.  

 

‘I went up there, and I just went blank. So, I bent down,
licked his hand and went off.’
– Bridget Moynahan, actress, describing her meeting with the
  Pope

 

‘I think God is a giant vibrator in the sky… a pulsating
force of incredible energy.’
– David Arquette, actor

 

‘I think the fact that you can buy beauty now is a really
good thing.’
– Courtney Love

 


‘The NEA is a terrorist organization.’
– Education Secretary Rod Paige, on the National Education
  Association

 

‘I don’t know much about football. I know what a goal is,
 which is surely the main thing about football.’
– Victoria Beckham 

 

Odd/Strange/Bizarre Story’s 

 

ALEXANDRIA, Va. — A Florida man has settled his $2 million lawsuit against a McDonald’s restaurant in southwest Virginia that allegedly served him a chicken sandwich that exploded with hot grease. Terms of the settlement entered Friday in Alexandria were not disclosed.

The long-running case began in 2005 when carnival operator Frank Sutton of Brooksville, Fla., ordered a fried chicken sandwich at a McDonald’s in the Daniel Boone truck stop in Duffield, Va. He said he suffered burns to his mouth and lips when it spewed scalding grease after he bit into it.

A judge dismissed the lawsuit in 2008, saying that Sutton should have tested the temperature of his sandwich before ate it. But a federal appeals court disagreed and sent the case back for a second trial. That trial had been scheduled to start next week

 

 

 

True Story 

 

 

  Lipstick in School

 According to a news report, a certain private school in Newcastle upon Tyne was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the Headmistress decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little Geordie ‘Princesses’).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

 

 

There are teachers

 

And then there are educators!!!

 

 

True Story 2

Who Was She Expecting?

An unidentified English woman, according to the Sunday Express was climbing into the bathtub one afternoon when she remembered she had left some crumpets in the oven.

Naked, she dashed downstairs and was removing the crumpets when she heard a noise at the door. Thinking it was the baker, and knowing he would come in and leave a loaf of bread on the kitchen table if she didn’t answer his knock, the woman darted into the broom cupboard.

A few moments later she heard the back door open and, to her eternal mortification, the sound of footsteps coming toward the cupboard. It was the man from the gas company, come to read the meter.

‘Oh,’ stammered the woman, ‘I was expecting the baker.’ The gas man blinked, excused himself and departed.

 

 

 


 Humour

 

WICOE (Women In Charge Of Everything)

Is proud to announce the opening of its
 EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
OPEN TO MEN ONLY
ALL ARE WELCOME

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE;
DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK
OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control – Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place
Instead of turning the house upside down while screaming –
Open forum


DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS;
DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH;
BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY
AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS;
BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN
YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES
& CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT;
LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available

 

 
 English As a Foreign Language

 

On a beautiful summer’s day, two English tourists were
driving through Wales.

At the town of
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndr obwyllllantysiliogogoch

They stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the
waitress, 
 
‘Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument
for us.’

‘Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?’
 
The girl leaned over and said, ‘Burrr ? gurrr ? king.’

 

SMART IRISHMAN

An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, ‘I’ve some bad news for you… you have cancer and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month.’

Murphy, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor’s office into the waiting room. There he saw his son who had been waiting. Murphy said, ‘Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t so well. I have cancer and I’ve been given a short time to live. Let’s head for the pub and have a few pints.’

After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Murphy’s old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Murphy told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad… he went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end.

He told his friends, ‘I’ve only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS.’ The friends gave Murphy their condolences and they had a couple more beers.

After his friends left, Murphy’s son leaned over and whispered, ‘Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer. You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!’

Murphy said,’I am dying from cancer, son, I just don’t want any of them sleeping with your mother after I’m gone.’

Famous Sayings

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere. (George Burns)

I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. (George Burns)

At my age flowers scare me (George Burns)

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternatives. (Maurice Chevalier, on 77th birthday)

People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I’ll tell you: a paternity suit. (George Burns)

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. (Herbert Henry Asquith)

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.

(Lucille Ball)

There are three ages of man – youth, age, and ‘you’re looking wonderful.’ (Francis Spellman)

I don’t feel old – I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap. (Bob Hope)

Alcohol

A pint of plain is your only man. (Flann O’Brien)

I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop. (Noel Coward)

I drink therefore I am (W.C. Fields)

A woman drove me to drink – and I hadn’t even the courtesy to thank her. (W.C. Fields)

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they are going to feel all day. (Frank Sinatra)

I never drink water, fish fuck in it. (W.C. Fields)

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. (George Burns)

Anniversaries

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light. (Mark Twain)

Art, Music

God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant, and the cat. He has no real style. He just goes on trying other things. (Pablo Picasso)

If it sells, it’s art. (Frank Lloyd)

All the arts in America are a gigantic racket run by unscrupulous men for unhealthy women. (Thomas Beecham)

There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad. (Salvador Dali)

Hell is full of musical amateurs. (George Bernard Shaw)

You just pick up a chord, go twang, and you’re got music. (Sid Vicious)

Wagner’s music is better than it sounds. (Mark Twain)

Laughable Complaints Made By Holidaymakers to Travel Agents

 

1) I was bitten by a mosquito – no-one said they could bite.

2) It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time – this should be banned.

3) On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.

4) The beach was too sandy.

5) A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

6) We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five Euros [�3.50. $5 USD] from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.

7) No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.

8) It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home.

9) The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation’. We’re trainee hairdressers – will we be OK staying here?

10) We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.
It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.