Sarsfields Newsletter

THE SASH Friday May 7th 2010

The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.     

Change to The Sarsfields V Athy Championship game starting time.

The Wyeth Round 2 Senior Football Champinship game between Sarsfields and Athy originally fixed for St Conleth’s Park on Sunday May 9^th  at 3p has now been switched to 6pm on the same day by the County Board.

SFL Div 1: Sarsfields 1-11 Leixlip 2-8

Tony Ryan

An excellently struck Ray Cahill 25 metre free with two minutes of normal time remaining secured a share of the points for Sarsfields against Leixlip in the SFL Division 1 clash on Saturday afternoon in Sarsfields Park. While both sides missed a number of scoring opportunities in the second half it was a hard working Leixlip team who amassed a greater number of wides than Sarsfields and will probably feel more aggrieved that they didn’t take the two points.

            Once again as has been the case in most of their games  season Sarsfields started slowly and found themselves four points in arrears, 1-3 to 0-2 after 16 minutes of the first half. The lively David Jordan whom the Sarsfields defence found difficult to handle scored Leixlip’s first goal after 12 minutes when he caught a great pass from fellow corner forward Eamon Murphy, turned his marker, advanced on Sarsfields net minder Patrick O’Sullivan and fired low and hard to the left-hand corner of the goal from close range. He could have scored a goal 7 minutes earlier when the Sarsfields defence was caught napping after Eamon Murphy passed to the unmarked Jordan from a quick free but he elected to go for a point instead. Two minutes after Jordan’s goal half forward Paul O’Neill made it 1-3 to 0-2 for Leixlip.

Sarsfields responded with an excellent Enda Freaney point after a pass from half forward Ray Cahill but within a few minutes Leixlip were four points to the good once more when Eamon Murphy scored a point after he rounded Sarsfields advancing corner back Niall O’Callaghan slipped on the ground made soft by the pre match showers. An Eoin O’Sullivan point was quickly followed by another Enda Freaney point 5 minutes before the break after he caught the ball with one hand and quickly turned goalwards firing over from 20 metres to reduce the deficit to two points, 1-4 to 0-5. Ray Cahill further reduced the gap to the minimum after he received a pinpoint pass from Sarsfields centre forward Eoin O’Sullivan. A well struck Eamon Murphy free from 30 metres edged Leixlip two ahead before a fisted Robbie Confrey point brought the scoring to a close for the first giving Leixlip a one point half time lead 1-5 to 0-7.

             Sarsfields started the second half in determined mood and two Morgan O’Sullivan points in as many minutes edged Sarsfields ahead, 0-9 to 1-5 for the first time since their 5^th minute opening score of the first half.  Leixlip then had four or five wides interspersed with a couple for Sarsfields before a defensive error lead to Leixlip’s second goal. The failure to clear a high ball proved costly for Sarsfields when Eamon Murphy took advantage as the ball broke loose between a couple of Sarsfields’ defenders and fired home to give Leixlip the lead 2-5 to 0-9.

In order to curb the threat of the Leixlip forwards in particular their top scorers David Jordan and Eamon Murphy, Sarsfields manager Sean O’Sullivan replaced three of his six backs with Donachadh McDonnell at half time and Steven Lalor and Joe Buckley after the concession of Leixlip’s second goal.  Leixlip’s centre half forward Paddy Maher followed that goal immediately with a point to leave his side 3 points clear with 14 minutes remaining. Sarsfields responded swiftly to the setback of the Leixlip goal when corner forward Robbie Confrey shook off the attention of three defenders, passed the ball across the goalmouth to John Geraghty who palmed the ball to the net to give Sarsfields parity. When Leixlip substitute Ivan Clancy scored two points in four minutes it appeared that they might have enough within themselves to win this game but this was reckoning without the strengthened Sarsfields back line which had begun to get the measure of their opponents and the accuracy of Ray Cahill whose two 30 and 25 metre frees from the left wing, one in the 51^st minute and second and equalising one with two minutes remaining earned Sarsfields a share of the spoils and confirms the talented Cahill as a maturing young player who is successfully making the transition from the underage ranks to an established senior player.          

Sarsfields:Patrick O’Sullivan, Niall O’Callaghan, Ciaran Carey, John Kavanagh, Niall Hedderman, Robbie Murphy, Conor Tiernan, Alan Barry, Morgan O’Sullivan (0-2), Enda Freaney (0-2), Eoin O’Sullivan (0-1), Sean Cambell, Ray Cahill (0-4),John Geraghty (1-1) Robbie Confrey (0-1) Subs: Donnachadh McDonnell for John Kavanagh (ht)Joe Buckley for Niall Hedderman (45mins)John Walsh  for John Geraghty (49mins)Steven Lawlor for Niall O’Callaghan(49mins) Michael Browne for Sean Cambell (inj 59)

Leixlip: Gavin Lee, Darren Reilly, Kevin Mcnamee, Robie Roche, Alan Carey, Ciaran Fadain Aidan Ryan, Brian Claffey, David Hanlon,  Paul O’Neill (0-1), Paddy Maher(0-1), Martin Shaughnessy, David Jordan (1-2) Niall White, Eamon Murphy (1-2) Subs: Paddy Mollick for Darren Reilly(ht) John Roche for Niall White, Niall White for Martin Shaughnessy, Ivan Clancy (0-2) Robbie Roche. Referee: Damien Smullen.

 IHL: Sarsfields 0-10 0-10 Leixlip

Colm Harrington

Sarsfields hurlers were held to a draw by Leixlip in the intermediate league
on Thursday night (Apr 29th) in Radley Park.

The home team got off to a bright start and had two points on the board
after 3 minutes. Sash captain Denis O’Callaghan got his teams first two
scores to even things up after being well assisted by Kevin Healy and John
Joyce. Points from Gary Hogan and an outstanding effort from John Moran saw
the sash lead by 2 at the midway point of the first half. The conceding of a
couple of avoidable frees saw the teams level until Frank Maguire converted
a ’65’ on the stroke of half time to see the away team a point to the good
at half-time. A white flag from the hard working Joyce and three from Kevin
Healy had the Sash leading 0:09 to 0:08 with time nearly up. With Conor
O’Dwyer growing into his centre back role on the night and Senan Clandillion
very tidy and effective at fullback Sarsfields were performing quite well
despite being short a number of established players. A courageous dash from
his line to prevent a certain goal resulted in both Sarsfields Goalkeeper
Dermot Maguire and the Leixlip corner forward requiring attention which held
up play for several minutes. When play resumed another fine score from Joyce
pushed Sarsfields two clear but Leixlip weren’t finished and two late points
earned them a share of the spoils.

Sars will feel a little disappointed with the failure to see the game out
but can be quite pleased with the evenings work overall. 

Leinster GAA News
 Summary of Playing Rule Changes 2010

The GAA Congress 2010 passed a number of playing rule changes relevant
to football and hurling which will come into effect in all games played
on or after May 15th 2010. In total there are six changes specific to
football only and three specific to hurling, while a further six changes
affect both codes, A summary of the changes is as follows:

Football Only:
1.        Handpass – If a player handpasses the ball using the open hand,
there must be a definite underhand striking action.
2.        Penalty Kicks – All penalty kicks will now be taken from 11
metres out
3.        Kick Outs – All kick outs will now be from the 13 metre line
4.        Sideline kicks – Line balls must be kicked from outside the
boundary line
5.        Illegal Charge – It is illegal for a charge to be made on a
player kicking the ball.
6.        Definition of bounce – The redefinition of the bounce has the
effect that the ‘Basketball Type’, bounce, per se, is not a foul.

Hurling only:
1.        Puck Outs – The penalty for taking a puck-out from outside the
small rectangle is changed from the award of a 65m free to the
opposition to a throw in the ball on the defenders’ 20m line.
2.        Handpass – The ball must be released and struck with a definite
striking action of the hand
3.        Penalties – Both attackers and defenders must remain outside the
20m line and the arc until the ball is struck from a penalty and the
three defenders on the line must not move off the line until the ball is
struck.

Both Hurling and Football:
1.        Restarting Play – If play is stopped by the referee to enable a
seriously injured player to be treated, play will now resume with a free
to the team that had possession. However it will not be permitted to
score from such a free (if neither team is ‘in possession’, play shall
re-start with a throw in)
2.        Throw ins – when the play is being restarted by a throw-in, this
must take place a minimum of 13 metres from the sideline
3.        Advantage – A referee will now signal that advantage is being
played by raising his arm
4.        Extra Time – Extra time consists of 10 minutes per half only.
The provision for two additional periods of 5 minutes per half has been
removed
5.        Boundary Lines – The penalty for a player deliberately going
outside the boundary lines of the pitch to gain an advantage has changed
from a caution to a free.
6.        Charge – A charge is now defined as ‘shoulder to shoulder’
rather than ‘side to side’

Sasrsfields On Facebook 

Sarsfields now have 307 Fans on Facebook.

Sarsfields now has a Facebook Page where all sections can now post information directly relating to games, results events and photos etc. In addition there is a discussion forum. Link to Sarsfields  Facebook page can be found by scrolling down the home page of the Sarsfields website.

Kildare’s Leinster Senior, and Minor Fixtures for 2010

 Leinster Senior football Championship.

  Underage Camogie & Hurling Training.
 
  Outdoor Underage Hurling & Camogie training has resumed in Sarsfields and is on every Thursday from 6pm to 7pm for  U8, U10, U12 & U14. Boys & Girls. Saturday 10.30 to 11.30am – Kinder garden Camogie & Hurling Training up to the age 7yrs.

For more information contact Denise McGann on – 087-2873096

Support The Sash with Vodafone

Sign up to the Vodafone Support Your GAA Club programme to donate 5% of
your Pay Monthly bill or Top Up to Sarsfields – without it costing you a
single cent! Contact Shane Campbell or visit the Vodafone web site.

More Stupid Quotes. 

‘I think that the film ‘Clueless’ was very deep. I think it
was deep in the way that it was very light. I think
lightness has to come fro ma very deep place if it’s true
lightness’
– Alicia Silverstone 

‘Do I have a large frog in my hair? Something’s crawling out
of my scalp. No, but I mean I feel it. I’m not worried about
the looks. I’m worried about the sensation of my brain being
eaten.’
– Joaquin Phoenix

‘I just get naked, that’s what I do.’
– Levi Johnston, baby daddy of Sarah Palin’s grandchild, on
exposing his privates in ‘Playgirl’, as told to US Magazine

‘These people haven’t seen the last of my face. If I’m going
 down, I’m going down standing up!’
– Chuck Person, NBA Basketball player

‘I never set out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it was,
you know, important. Like a league game or something.’
– Dick Butkus

Strange/Bizarre/Quirkie News.

High Flying Driver

A 67-year-old Oklahoma man had quite a fright
after backing his car at high speed through a seventh-floor
exterior wall of a parking garage.

Ralph Hudson says his foot got stuck between his Mercedes’
brake and gas pedal as he was backing up in a towering
parking garage in downtown Tulsa on Wednesday.

The car burst through the building’s exterior wall and
sprayed debris on a parking lot below before stopping just
in time. The car’s trunk and part of its back wheels were
left hanging precariously out of the building but officials
were able to safely drive it back inside.

True Story. 

A safety expert is demanding action after his car was damaged in a car wash. Richard Wrigley watched in disbelief as the boot of his red Jaguar got caught up in the mechanism of the drying machine at the car wash at Sainsbury’s Shore Head supermarket.

‘I looked in the rear view mirror to see this red thing and realised it was the boot of the car,’ he said. ‘The drying equipment had lifted the boot until it would go no further and crumpled it. I got out and left the driver’s door open. I was looking for a stop button. The next thing I saw was my car door opening further. I tried to move the car forward, but the drier pushed the door open until it was at right angles to the car body.’ He added, ‘There was no way of stopping the machine and there are no safety instructions for drivers. Someone could have been badly injured. The machine didn’t stop when it came into contact with the car boot, it just carried on its way.’

Mr Wrigley, speaking on the radio, remarked that the latest quote to repair his door and boot was some �3000. He added, also, that his children who were with him in the car when this happened apparently thoroughly ‘enjoyed’ the adventure!

True Story 2

More British Bureaucratic Rubbish

A man has been fined £50 for putting rubbish in a bin. Andy Tierney of Hinckley, Leicestershire was issued the fixed penalty notice for dumping two junk mail letters. Hinckley and Bosworth Council accused him of committing ‘an offence under Section 87 of the Environmental Protection Act 1990. Domestic refuse from your property was dumped into a street litter bin the fixed penalty is £50.’

The council classes letters as ‘domestic litter’, which should not be dropped in public street bins. According to BBC Radio news and The Sun, Andy said, ‘How on earth can they fine me for being tidy? It’s absolute madness. I could have easily chucked those letters on the ground, but I put them in the bin. What has happened is a joke. The council is barmy. I never thought you could be fined for putting rubbish in a bin – that’s what they’re there for.’

Andy was walking from his house to his car when his postman handed him the junk mail. He opened both letters as he strolled – then dumped them in the bin on a lamppost. Council officials traced him from the addresses on the envelopes and issued the penalty. The letter threatens Andy with further action and a conviction if he does not pay within 14 days. Andy insisted, ‘There’s absolutely no way I’m paying up. You get fined for chucking rubbish on the ground. You get fined for chucking rubbish in the bin. So what exactly are you supposed to do?’

A spokesman from the council said, ‘A fixed penalty notice is served to people who we believe have committed an offence. Our litter bins are there to keep streets tidy, as they enable the public to deposit small amounts of litter. They are not provided for household waste.’

It gets worse – the council routinely search rubbish. (Reported in the Times)
Today I can reveal the other side to the story, the council�s side. And the great thing is that it makes the council look even more fatuous than it did last Thursday when Tierney contacted his local newspaper to complain about the fine.

The council now alleges that Tierney did not deposit just two letters in the litter bin, but a whole sack of domestic rubbish. Tierney denies the imputation: They’re just trying to save face. They’ve been made to look stupid, so they come up with this. Why didn�t they say that on Thursday?

Quite; but more to the point, how did they know that this black bag full of domestic rubbish had been deposited by Tierney  unless, that is, they pay someone to rifle through the garbage with the sole purpose of persecuting rubbish-placement transgressors? Well, of course, on cross-examination it transpires that this is exactly what they spend your council tax on. Rubbish placement transgressor inspectors.

If we find a black bin bag in a litter bin, we will sift through the rubbish and attempt to identify who put it there, a council employee told me, with great patience, as if this were a perfectly reasonable thing to do. A refuse disposal man will identify a black bag and then report it to his supervisor and a decision will be made to examine the contents of the bag and, upon identifying the miscreant, issue a fixed penalty notice.� You couldn’t make this up and, luckily, I didn’t have to.

There are other eternally vigilant people employed by Hinckley and Bosworth borough council whose job it is to persecute the residents who pay their wages. These are called neighbourhood wardens � �the eyes and ears of the local community�, according to the council spokeswoman.

It was one of these individuals who espied Tierney putting some litter in a bin and quickly filed a report. So they have people paid to walk the streets and make sure you don�t put letters in a litter bin and other people employed to sift through your rubbish and fine you if you do. Possibly people like you and I, possibly weird people whom you would not wish to sit next to at dinner.

The average council tax charge in Hinckley and Bosworth is �1,242.97 a year. Council tax charges have risen by about 100% nationally over the past decade. This is a small price for such extraordinary vigilance, such devotion to the cause. Quite what the cause is remains a mystery.

Top Ten Totally Wrong Predictions

 Humour

Driven to Distraction

 The Kitchen Saga

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband when he burst into the kitchen.

‘Careful,’ he cried, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my word! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful … CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’

The wife stared at him in amazement, ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’

The husband calmly replied, ‘I wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving

Gun Story With A Happy Ending 

Old Prospector…

An old prospector shuffled into the town of  El Indio ,  Texas leading an old tired mule.  The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat.  He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.  A s he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, ‘Hey old man, have you ever danced?’  The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, ‘No, I never did dance… never really wanted to.’ 
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said,   ‘Well, you old fool, you’re gonna’ dance now,’ and started shooting at the old man’s feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.  Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.  The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.  The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately.  The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.  The silence was almost deafening.  The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man’s hands, as he quietly said, ‘Son, have you ever kissed a mule’s ass?’ 
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, ‘No sir….. but… I’ve always wanted to.

There are a few lessons for us all here:

   Never be arrogant.

Don’t waste ammunition.

Whiskey makes you think you’re smarter than you are.

Always, always make sure you know who has the power

Don’t mess with old men, they didn’t get old by being stupid. 

Thanks Leo for the above.

Those old grey cell ain’t . . .

Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park
bench. They had been meeting at that park every sunny day
for over 12 years, chatting, and enjoying each other’s
friendship.

One day the younger of the two turns to the other and says,
‘Please don’t be angry with me, dear, but I am embarrassed,
after all these years. What is your name? I am trying to
remember, but I just can’t.’

The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed,
says nothing for two full minutes, and finally says, ‘How
soon do you have to know?’

Saving Lives

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly
complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student
interrupted him.

‘Why do we have to learn this stuff?’ the young man blurted
out.

‘To save lives,’ the professor responded before continuing
the lecture.

A few minutes later the student spoke up again. ‘So how does
physics save lives?’

The professor stared at the student for a long time without
saying a word. Finally the professor continued.

‘Physics saves lives,’ he said, ‘because it keeps certain
people out of medical school.’

Waspish Problem

The man who is the world’s leading expert on wasps is walking through Droitwich one day when he passes an old vinyl record shop.

Looking in the window, an album catches his eye: ‘The Sounds of Wasps from Around the World’. He enters the store and asks the salesgirl if he can listen to the album.

‘Sure…just go into the booth and put on the headphones,’ replies the shop assistant.

He does this and listens to ten minutes of buzzing noises until he can take no more…..he leaves the booth and says to the salesgirl, ‘I’m an expert on wasps and I have to say that I didn’t recognise any of those noises’.

‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ answers the assistant, ‘I was playing you the B side.’

[ BEE……………………………………………………] I Know, I know.