Sarsfields Newsletter

THE SASH Thursday March 11th 2010

The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.     

Dowling Cup Round 3: Sarsfields 1-16 Celbridge 0-12.

By Tony Ryan

Sarsfields Senior B team made it three wins in a row in the Dowling Cup and qualified for the Semi final when they had a comfortable 7 points victory over Celbridge in Round 3 in Sarsfields Park on Saturday afternoon. Apart from early in the first half when Celbridge briefly led it was Sarsfields who were in control for most of this game. A Stephen Lalor goal after 8 minutes after a great pass from Ray Cahill set Sarsfields on their way. A further point from Steven Lalor, on each from Conor Walsh and Padraig Buckley, and 3 from Ray Cahill left Sarsfields 1-8 to 0-7 ahead at the break. Sarsfields raced into a 1-5 to 0-3 lead midway through the first half but Celbridge’s ace marksman Alan Dunphy hauled them back into the game with 3 successive excellent points.

            After the resumption 3 points in four minutes from full forward Declan McKenna , midfielder Caoimhín McDonell and one from half forward Ray Cahill put Sarsfields 7 points clear 1-11 to 0-7. However Celbridge rallied and scored the next four points to leave just 3 between the sides 1-11 to 0-11. This was as good as it got for Celbridge as Sarsfields steeped up a gear and when Declan McKenna, Ray Cahill, substitute Rory Franz and Conor Walsh all scored without reply from Celbridge the game was over as a contest although Celbridge to their credit doggedly refused to give up the fight. Best for Celbridge were Alan Dunphy, Paul McGrane, Richie O’Sullivan, Aaron Gutherie. Best for Sarsfields were Ray Cahill, Declan McKenna, Caoimhín McDonnell, Stephen Lalor and Joe Buckley, Conor Walsh.        

Sarsfields: John Melia, Sean Gillen, Cian Sweeney, Steven Dunne, Brian Smith, Joe Buckley, Eamonn Gillen, Caoimhín McDonnell, (0-1) Padraig Buckley,(0-1) Steven Lalor,(1-1) Ray Cahill, (0-6) Conor Walsh, (0-2) Pat Finlay, Declan McKenna,(0-3) Phillip Thinsley. Subs: Rory Franz (0-1) for Eamonn Gillen (ht) Brian Moore for Phillip Thinsley (50mins) 

Celbridge: Sean Murtagh, Robbie McNamee, David Murphy, D Wright, Jim Donlon, Mick Wright, Kevin Bracken, Kevin Larkin, Jim King, Richard O’Sullivan,(0-1) John Fitzgerald, David Gavin, (0-1) Aaron Gutherie (0-3) Paul McGrane, (0-2) Alan Dunphy,(0-5) Subs: Andrew Gavin for David Murphy.

Seniors Fail to Qualify
 

The Senior team drew with Naas to finish with 3 points from 3 games in the Aldridge Cup and miss out on a semi final spot. The Senior Football leagues commences on Sunday 27th March. With the opening game against St Kevin’s.

Volunteers Required.

Your club needs you.

Anyone who would like to get involved in any section in Sarsfields is very welcome or on the various committees that have been/are been set up such as Lotto fundraising or the new communications committee. To get involved with the lotto contact Kevin McNulty on or for the communications committee contact Secretary John Holden on 087-2872208 or PRO Tony Ryan on 087-2767338. In relation to communications all managers are asked to immediately send match results with the scores regardless of winning or losing to PRO Tony Ryan. The County Board wants all results in as soon as possible so that they can be placed on the website more quickly than in previous years.  

Club Mass

The Mass for all deceased Club Members that was due to take place on Sunday last Sunday in the clubhouse has been postponed will be rearranged for an alternative date shortly.

Sash Notes

Congratulations to the senior B team who topped their group with three successive wins and have qualified for the semi final of the Dowling Cup after they comfortably defeated Celbridge 1-16 to 0-12 on Saturday afternoon in Sarsfields Park. The seniors drew with Naas 2-12 each away in the Aldridge Cup Round 3 on Saturday last but have missed out on a semi final place. The minors lost to Maynooth on Sunday 2-8 to 0-8 and are away to Leixlip on Sunday morning next the 14^th March at 11.45. On Saturday the 13^th March the U16 Leagues continues with Sarsfields away to Na Fianna at 4pm. On Sunday morning both Feile teams will be in action, In the Feile U14 A Sarsfields are away to Athy and in the Feile E group Sarsfield 2 are at home to Moorefield 2. Both games are at 10.30. 

Sarsfields underage footballers will be taking part in a nationwide Irish language promotion initiative on this Friday March 12^th. They will run from the National school to the Bank of Ireland where they will hand over the baton to Moorefield underage footballers. An underage Disco will be held on Friday 12^th March from 8pm until 11pm for age 11 upwards. Entry is €5.

Best wishes to Dermot Earley and Gary White, Alan Smith and the Kildare team in Sunday’s NFL tie against Armagh

The Mass for deceased members due to be held last Sunday was postponed and an alternative date will be announced shortly. 

All players are reminded that the deadline for payment of membership is 13th March. Unpaid Players will be unable to play or train after this date until their membership is paid. All team managers are reminded again that no training is to take place on pitch 3, only pitch 2 is to be used for training.

            Saturday morning Underage training returned on Saturday last the 6th of March, at 11.15am for the following age groups: Kindergarten – 4/5/6 yr. Olds. Kindergarten Hurling, Boys Under 7’s, Boys Under 8’s, Boys Under 9’s, Girls Under 8’s and Girls Under 9’s. New members are very welcome If you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact the Juvenile chairperson, Stephen Murphy, on 087 2840877.
              Lottto results for Monday March 1^st. No Jackpot Winner. €100: Lorraine and Aishling Murray c/o Mick Geraghty: €40 each: Paddy and Barney c/o Mick Geraghty, Dr Kevin Brennan c/o Johnsons, Declan Conlon, Direct Debit. €25: Con Cummins c/o Seamus O’Neill. Lotto value €12,000 Numbers drawn: 1,7,8,17.

If any persons in the club have First Aid experience please contact The Club
Health and Safety Officer Vincent Miller 087 7998433. If anyone has any  photos of Sarsfields Championship winning teams  from any era please contact Eric Thorpe on 086-1272953 as some teams are missing from the collection of winning Championship teams in the club bar. All originals will be returned after copying.

             If any club member wishes to use the Club Gym please contact Secretary John Holden 087 2872208. to obtain a Gym Fob ( once off cost of €10 ). All team managers are asked to send on preferred training times to club secretary for the coming season as the training pitch roster is being finalised shortly. For any issues relating to health and safety please contact The Club Health and Safety Officer Vincent Miller 087 7998433. 

To book the main function room for weddings, parties etc contact the Clubhouse on 432218 or Bar Manager Celine Browne on 087-7934780. Sarsfields resident chef will be happy to discuss menu options for your function.

Club Membership
 
Club Membership for all sections is now due. Contact Registrar Kathleen
(Ollie) Ryan 086 6264115

The new membership rates are as follows:

Adult Member €60

Adult Player €120 (includes €60 player contribution)

Student Player €90  (includes €60 player contribution)

Unemployed Player €70 (includes €60 player contribution)

Retired Member €10

Juvenile Member (Kindergarten to Under 9) €30

Juvenile Member ( Under 10 to Under 18) €60  (includes €30 player
contribution)

Family Membership €70 + players levies

Sarsfields Fixtures this week.

Saturday 13^th March 2010

U16 Football League

Div 2 Rd 3 @4.00pm

Sarsfields v Confey        

Sunday 14^th March

U14 Football Féilé A @10.30am

Sarsfields v Athy      

U14 Football Féilé E @10.30am

Sarsfields 2 v Moorefield 2 

Minor Football League Div 1 11.45AM

Leixlip  v  Sarsfields      

National Football League 2.30PM

Armagh  v  Cill Dara.

Sasrsfields On Facebook 

Sarsfields now has a Facebook Page where all sections can now post information directly relating to games, results events and photos etc. In addition there is a discussion forum. Link to Sarsfields  Facebook page can be found by scrolling down the home page of the Sarsfields website.

Kildare’s Leinster Senior, and Minor Fixtures for 2010

 Leinster Senior football Championship.

 Remaining  fixtures: NFL Division 2:  All Sunday games at 2.30. Saturday games at 7.30 under lights –Rnd 4: Sunday, March 14, Armagh -v- Kildare; Rnd 5: Sunday, March 21, Kildare -v- Westmeath; Rnd 6: Saturday, March 27 – Laois -v- Kildare under lights at 7.30; Rnd 7: Sunday, April 11, Meath -v- Kildare.

NHL Division  Rnd 3: Saturday, March 13 – Westmeath -v- Kildare; Rnd 4: Saturday, March 20 – Kildare -v- Down; Rnd 5: Sunday, March 28, Wexford -v- Kildare; Rnd 6: Sunday, April 4, Kildare -v- Carlow; Rnd 7: Sunday, April 18, Kildare -v- Clare.

 

NFL League Fixtures for this weekend.

Underage Camogie & Hurling Training.
 
 All Outdoor Underage Hurling & Camogie training starts back in Sarsfields on Thursday 25th of March from 6pm to 7pm.
 
That’s U8, U10, U12 & U14. Boys & Girls.

For more information contact Denise McGann on – 087-2873096

Support The Sash with Vodafone

Sign up to the Vodafone Support Your GAA Club programme to donate 5% of
your Pay Monthly bill or Top Up to Sarsfields – without it costing you a
single cent! Contact Shane Campbell or visit the Vodafone web site.

More Stupid Quotes.  

‘I always lived very frugally. I flew around on a private
jet. I had a boat. But I always lived very frugally.’
– Billionaire financier and alleged Ponzi scheme
  operator Allen Stanford

‘This is a great day for France!’
– President Richard Nixon at French President Charles de
  Gaulle’s funeral. 

‘Queen Elizabeth Taylor.’
– Thai Prime Minister Banharn Silpa-archa, referring to the
  Queen of England. 

‘For most people, death comes at the end of their lives.’
– Radio broadcaster, Britain

Strange/Bizarre/Quirkie News. 

Only In America

STEVENS POINT, Wisconsin . –  Michelle Cuestas of Green Bay used
two vacation days and camped out for 43 hours to make sure
her grandson would be first in line for the 2010 opening of
a Stevens Point ice-cream landmark.

Belts’ Soft Serve opened for the year Friday at 11 a.m.
Thanks to grandma, 6-year-old Brayden Banks placed the first
order.

The Stevens Point Journal said Cuestas arrived Wednesday at
4 p.m. She planned to spend the night in her car but after
locking her keys in the car, she instead slept in the Belts
bathroom.

Brayden arrived Thursday morning. The two passed the last 24
hours playing games, reading and drawing.

Cuestas said the wait was worth it. She said making memories
with her grandson is priceless.

Crazy Aussie Driver

A drunk driver tried to avoid arrest by leaping into the back of his moving car during a chase in the Australian outback.
Police in the Northern Territory town of Katherine were stunned when they realised the 24-year-old driver had abandoned the controls and jumped on to the back seat with his three passengers in an apparent attempt to fool officers. The runaway car continued for 150 metres at 25mph before police on foot ran it down and applied the brakes.

Police said the driver panicked when they tried to pull him over for a random breath test.

True Story.

Cold Welcome

A Canadian Tour company offers a two-day course in igloo
building.
For the last five years, a unique hotel has sprung up in the
province of Quebec, in Canada, and then it just melts
away…literally. It’s the famous Ice Hotel, a step up from your
regular igloo, but just as frosty.

This amazing structure, which takes five weeks to build, and
opens in early January (Canadian weather permitting), covers
some 3,000 sq. ft. in total. Approximately 12,000 tons of snow
and 400 tons of ice are used to pack, carve and otherwise build
the extensive facility that includes a cinema, theme rooms,
chapel, reception room, bar, and even functioning fireplaces.

The indoor temperature averages 23-25F, at all times, thanks to
the four-foot thick walls, that highlight local and national
artists. Ceilings are as high as 18′ and the furniture is carved
from ice as well.

Every need is provided for, including heated indoor ‘facilities’
for those nightly trips, and regular showers in a standard
hotel-type building across from your sub-zero suite. The hotel
is set up to cater banquets, reunions, and even offers a special
wedding package in the chapel. Although the reception might be a
little chilly.

True Story 2.  

Murder and the origin of the Word Thug.

Behram, an Indian thug, holds the record for most murders by
a single individual. He strangled 931 people between
1790-1840 with a piece of yellow and white cloth, called a
ruhmal. The most murders by a woman are 612, by Countess
Erzsebet Bathory of Hungary.  

 Many a modern mystery surrounds the cloaked role of the ‘hit
man’, those shadowy figures of the Mafia and other gangs who
‘rub out’ their opponents, or people that present a problem
to their friends. But in India of the 14th century, it was
not only a profession, and a tax paying one at that, but a
religion as well.

The cult was a secret one, practiced by men and kept secret
from the women. Members were Hindu, Muslim and Sikh, and all
were skilled in strangulation by the ruhmal, a yellow and
white cloth that represented the Nepalese god of
destruction. Instead, members were profiled as a religious
society, dedicated to a goddess whose reappearance on Earth
would be put off another 1,000 years with each ‘deed’ that
was performed.

Large sects, numbering upwards of 200 men, would operate in
various regions, unhampered by Indian rulers. The society as
a whole were called Thuggees, the origin of the English term
‘thug’, meaning a criminal with violent tendencies.

The most famous, although his claim to fame has been
questioned, was Thug Behram, a member of the cult who at one
time claimed to have personally murdered 931 people between
1790 and 1830, when a British crackdown on the society put
an end to their profession.

Behram’s victim total was taken from a manuscript on the
Thuggee cult, written by an employee of the East India
company in 1830, one James Paton. What it apparently states,
is that Behram admitted to being present for that number of
murders, not actually doing them all himself. He also
recanted the number later in Paton’s record, when he said
that he had murdered around 125 victims and been present for
another 250.  

Humour. 

BEST EVER BLONDE JOKE

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, ‘Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.’

Her boyfriend asks, ‘What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?’

The blonde says, ‘According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.’

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

‘First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.’

He takes her hand and says, ‘Secondly, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then,’ he said with a deep sigh. .. . … .. ..







‘Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.’  

Thanks to Leo Kennedy

Grouch

The local motor vehicle licensing office was packed. The
line inched along for almost an hour until one man finally
got his license.

He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the
clerk, ‘I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking
pretty grouchy in this picture.’

The clerk looked at his picture closely. ‘It’s okay,’ he
reassured the man: ‘That’s how you’re going to look when the
cops pull you over anyway.’

Big Frank

Big Frank was having his hair styled at the hairdresser’s when a lorry smashed into a car, outside. Draped in a cape, his hair divided with aluminium clips, Frank, an ex-paratrooper corporal raced out to the car and found the driver unhurt.

The lorry driver, however, was slumped over the wheel, unconscious. Big Frank lost no time in applying his army acquired CPR techniques, including mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. The lorry driver recovered consciousness several times, but kept passing out again.

Soon the ambulance arrived with the paramedics and took over, and Frank returned to his barber�s seat. ‘I just don’t understand why he kept passing out,’ he said to the hairdresser. ‘I did everything they taught me.’

‘Well, put yourself in the lorry driver’s place,’ said the hairdresser. ‘He’s driving down the street without a care in the world. The next thing he knows, he’s waking up to see some big guy in a green cape with a head full of wires pounding on his chest and kissing him. You’d pass out too’

Tech Support Calls

Customer: ‘My disk ran out of space when trying to save my Word document, so I changed it from double spaced to single spaced and it still wouldn’t fit!’

Tech Support: ‘Have you made backups of your software and data?’
Customer: ‘I didn’t know it had a reverse.’

Customer: ‘All my files I saved last week to my C: drive are missing!’
Tech Support: ‘Do you remember what directory you first saved them in?’
Customer: ‘No, I don’t. I just know it was on my C: drive.’
Tech Support: ‘Ok, I’ll walk you through how to find the files.’
Customer: ‘I wouldn’t think I would be losing files on this computer. Gee, I just had the hard drive replaced in it yesterday.’

Customer: ‘Do I need a computer to use your software?’
Tech Support: ‘Ok, I can help you install the software. Would you like me to do that?’
Customer: ‘Yes.’
Tech Support: ‘All right, can you insert the disk in the disk drive please?’
Customer: ‘How?’
Tech Support: ‘Place the disk in the opening at the front of the computer.’
Customer: ‘Will I have to have my computer delivered before we can do this?’
Tech Support: ‘Um yes, that might be an idea.’

Tech Support: ‘Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?’
Customer: ‘Wow. How can you see my screen from there?’

Customer: ‘How do you spell ‘Internet America’? Is there a space between ‘inter’ and ‘net’?’
Tech Support: ‘No space between ‘inter’ and ‘net’. It’s spelled normally.’
Customer: ‘Ok. A-M-E-R-I-C-K?’
Tech Support: ‘That’s A-M-E-R-I-C-A.’
Customer: ‘I-C-K???’
Tech Support: ”A’ as in apple’
Customer: ‘There’s no ‘K’ in apple!’