News

Sarsfields Newsletter.

November 8, 2018

THE SASH Wednesday April 15th 2009

 

The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.

 

Kildare Co Board Backs New Rules Ahead of Congress.

 

At a special county Board meeting held last night in Newbridge, delegates voted overwhelmingly in favour of the new rules, which will be voted on in Congress this weekend. If ratified by congress the new rules which were on trial during the O’Byrne Cup and National League will come into effect immediately but will not affect club Games until January 2010. Prior to the vote some delegates pointed out that despite the new rules being designed to help skilful players this was not happening and Kildare players like Dermot Earley and Roly Sweeney in particular were subjected to fouls and harassment during the league that were not penalised although ironically both players were sent off in the closing minutes of Kildare’s tie against Meath last Sunday.   

 

 

Leinster GAA News

Details for Allianz League deciders

 
The GAA has confirmed that the Allianz Football League Division 1 and 2 finals will be played as a double header at Croke Park on Sunday 26 April.

Cork will play Monaghan in the Division 2 decider at 2.00pm, while Derry and Kerry meet in Division 1 final at 4.00pm

The Division 3 and 4 finals will be played at Pearse Park in Longford on Saturday 25 April. Down play Tipperary in Division 3 at 6.30pm, while Antrim and Sligo meet in the Division 4 decider at 4.30pm.

The Division 1 hurling final between Kilkenny and Tipperary will be at Semple Stadium on Sunday 3 May at 4.00pm.

Teams and venue for the Division 2 final have yet to be decided.

Meanwhile, the Cadbury GAA Under-21 Football Championship final originally scheduled for 2 May has been moved to the Bank Holiday Monday 4 May to avoid clashing with the Munster v Leinster Heineken Cup semi-final. Teams and venue have yet to be decided .

 

 

‘Sunday Game’ on for Des Cahill

By Breda Heffernan

SMOOTH-talker Des Cahill is to take over the reins of RTE’s flagship GAA
highlights programme, ‘The Sunday Game’.

The Clare native, who currently fronts ‘Drivetime Sport’ on Radio 1,
will take over from outspoken former Kerry footballer Pat Spillane as
presenter of the show next month.

Cahill has over 25 years experience in sports broadcasting and has
presented the mid-week GAA programme, ‘The Road to Croker’, for the last
two seasons.

Speaking about his new role with ‘The Sunday Game’, he said: ‘It’s an
institution, but also a show that is constantly updating and evolving
and I’m glad to be part of its latest evolution.

‘I’m particularly delighted to take over the reins of ‘The Sunday Game’
in what is a momentous year for the GAA, with the 125th anniversary
celebrations ensuring that the championships will be very much
centre-stage this summer.’

Earlier this week, Spillane announced he was stepping down after four
years and becoming a pundit on the popular show so as to be able to
voice his sometimes controversial views. ‘Returning to the panel allows
me to put forth my opinions and insights and I’m very much looking
forward to it,’ he said.

Producers will be hoping Cahill will prove a safer set of hands to front
the show, after Spillane regularly drew the ire of critics and whose
knowledge of hurling was also questioned in some quarters
.

 

Feile Concert

 

TICKETS go on sale this week for a Feile concert being held in the club on Friday, April 24, – Mark Browne’s new band Apollo (formerly What Next) are kindly giving their services free to the club, so that means all proceeds go back into the club.

 

The concert is being organised by the Feile Committee, but the money goes straight back into the club’s finances for general distribution so it is important
everyone gets fully behind this venture. TICKETS are just €10 each and the Sarsfields Exec Committee are will be asking all sectors of the club to help with the sale of the tickets. We have 30 teams, so if each team managed to sell 10 tickets, we would raise €3,000 for the club and a good night is assured as well as the band always provides good entertainment
.

I will be contacting managers in the next couple of days, so please help with this concert promotion.

  Le meas

Shane Scanlon.

 

A club night is being held on Sunday May 3rd Music by Appollo and finger food, spot prizes on the night all welcome.

Sunday Lunch In Sarsfields.

 Lunch every Sunday in the Function Room from 12.30 until 6pm. After the success of Mother’s Day lunch it has been decided to do it every Sunday. A children’s menu will be available in addition to the adult menu which will cost approximately €14. Now that the Inter County championship is just around the corner there will be a live game every Sunday on the big screens in the bar.

 

 

Sarsfields Fixtures for the coming Week.

 

Wednesday 15th of April at 7pm

Senior League Division 4

Sarsfields V Rathangan       Main Pitch Denis Lawless

Senior League Division 5

Sarsfields v Maynooth Pitch 3 Brendan Hickey

 

Thursday 16th of April at 6.45pm

Junior Hurling League

Sarsfields V Kilcock         Main Pitch   Nick O’Connell

 

Saturday 18th of April at 6.00pm

Senior Football Division 1

Sarsfields V Leixlip   Main Pitch Declan Peppard

 

North Board

Saturday 18th of April

Under 8 Group 1

Kilcock V Sarsfields 1 1.30pm

Under 8 Group 4

Leixlip 2 V Sarsfields 2

Under 10 Division 1

Sarsfields 1 V Naas 1 3.00pm pitch 2

Under 10 Division 3

Sarsfields 2 V St Kevin’s 3.00pm pitch 2

Under 12 Division 1

Kilcock V Sarsfields 4.30pm

 

Ladies Football Under 16

Friday 17th of April

Sarsfields V Baltinglass Pitch 3


 More Stupid Quotes.

 

‘It’s not that I dislike many people. It’s just that I don’t
like many people.’
– Bryant Gumbel

 

‘Solitude is a silent storm that breaks down all our dead  branches; yet it sends our living roots deeper into the living heart of the living earth.’
– Kahlil Gibran

‘Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.’
– Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

‘If I had a choice of having a woman in my arms or shooting a bad guy on a horse, I’d take the horse. It’s a lot more fun’
– Kevin Costner, Actor

‘When I’m a blonde, I can say the world is purple, and they’ll believe me because they weren’t listening to me.’
– Kylie Bax, Model/Actress , in Stuff magazine.

‘Man shots neighbor with machete.’
– Miami Herald, headline

‘Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.’
– Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole
  Superieure de Guerre.

‘Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry.  I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.’
– Mariah Carey, Pop Singer

‘I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.’
– Marilyn Manson, Singer

‘If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.’
– Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

‘I’ll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right’
– Marlon Starling


 

 

 


Sayings
‘Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.’

George Carlin

We do on stage things that are supposed to happen off. Which is a kind of integrity, if you look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else.
Tom Stoppard.

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.
Samuel Butler

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Ambrose Bierce

The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.
James Baldwin

The least of learning is done in the classrooms.
Thomas Merton (So keep reading our jokes!)

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

Art is science made clear.
Jean Cocteau

The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it.
Benjamin Disraeli

The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.
Helen Rowland


Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.
John Kenneth Galbraith

The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.
Jane Wagner

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
Michael Pritchard

 


Did you know?

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

City with the most Rolls Royce’s per capita: Hong Kong

State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

 Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400 

Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The world’s youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades – King David
Clubs – Alexander the Great,
Hearts-Charlemagne, and
Diamonds – Julius Caesar.


111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.

‘I am.’ is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The phrase ‘rule of thumb’ is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the ‘General Purpose’ vehicle, G.P.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.



 

 

Strange/Bizarre/Quirkie News.

 

Woman Stalks Son

 

VIENNA (Reuters) : An Austrian woman who bombarded her son with
phone calls over a two-and-a-half year period was fined by a
court for stalking him, Austrian media reported on Thursday.

The 73-year-old woman, who phoned her son up to 49 times a day
was fined 360 euros ($478) by the court in the southern city of
Klagenfurt.

‘I just wanted to talk to him,’ the woman told the court,
according to Austrian newspaper Kleine Zeitung. ‘I can’t talk to
my son, nor my daughter. I’ve never seen my grandchild — who is
already 15-years-old,’ she said.

The case was brought by the son. The court did not release their
names.

 

Hunter finds first wild ‘polargrizz’

A DNA test on a bear has confirmed what Inuit trackers in the far northern of Canada have claimed of for years; namely the first proven case of a cross between a grizzly and polar bear in the wild.  

Roger Kuptana, an Inuit tracker from the Northwest Territories, suspected the American hunter he was guiding had shot a hybrid bear after noticing its white fur was spotted brown and it had the long claws and slightly humped back of a grizzly

Tests confirmed that a bear killed by a US hunter in Canada’s far north last month is the first Grizzly-Polar bear cross ever discovered in the wild.

‘It actually is a hybrid,’ Judy McLinton, a spokeswoman for the Northwest Territories’ environment and natural resources department in Yellowknife, said.

Jim Martell, 65, who paid to hunt Polar bears, shot the animal on April 16. The creature has been described by local media as a ‘pizzly’, a ‘grolar bear’, and – Mr Martell’s favourite – a ‘polargrizz’.

The Idaho native told The National Post, ‘Everybody thought it was a Polar bear, and then they started looking more and more and they seen other features that resembled some of a Grizzly as well.’

The bear had thick, creamy white fur, typical of Polar bears, but its long claws, humped back and shallow face, as well as brown patches around its eyes, nose, back and on one foot are Grizzly traits.

Geneticists have linked the two species.  They believe Grizzly bears ventured north some 250,000 years ago to hunt seals and that their fur turned white over time.

Thus, the Polar bear was born.  Odd couples have produced mixed offspring in captivity. But this is the first discovery of this mixed breed in the wild.  The two species mate at different times of the year and inhabit vastly different regions – one lives on Arctic ice floes, the other in forests.  But hunters have reported seeing Grizzlies further north in recent years as the Arctic warms.  A laboratory in western Canada examined the bear’s DNA to make the determination.

 


No laughing in the woods

A German has been ordered to stop laughing out loud in the woods after joggers complained that he was disturbing the peace. Accountant Joachim Bahrenfeld, 54, from Datteln said he goes to the woods after work and at weekends to have a good belly laugh. ‘It’s part of living for me, like eating, drinking and breathing. I feel much better when I laugh, it’s freeing and healthy,’ he said.

Now he faces a �4,000 [$7000USD] fine or six months jail if he laughs out loud again after a jogger successfully took him to court saying he was disturbing the peace.

German laugh expert Susanne Maier, who founded the German Laughter Academy which aims to teach serious minded Germans to lighten up, said, ‘Mr Bahrenfeld has been doing what we advise our students to do and that is to find a place they like to have a good old giggle. It would do the person who made the complaint and the judge good to come along to our school and learn for themselves the benefits of letting it all go.’

 

 

Sporting Quirkies

The loneliness of the male synchronised swimmer

The world’s only male synchronised swimmer is fighting international rules that have banned him from competing at London’s 2012 Olympic Games.

Niklas Stoepel, 17, is one of Germany’s top youth synchro-swimmers and the only boy in his high school team of girls in Wattenscheid.

But swimming’s international ruling body FINA has banned him from representing his country and refused to allow him to compete overseas.

‘FINA rejected the request. I believe that officials just don’t want to see any men in this sport,’ said Niklas, who shaves his legs and wears women’s costumes covered in sequins.

‘You can already sense that at the national level, many of the judges are more strict in their scoring of me than they are with my female competitors.

‘It’s not fair – but I haven’t given up my dream of one day competing in an international championship,’ he added.

 

Parrot supports rugby team

 

A rugby-mad parrot shouts support for his favourite team in a Gloucester accent.

The three-year-old African Grey parrot called Severiano Ballesteros chants ”Gloucester, Gloucester” in a West Country drawl whenever he sees his team play on TV.

Owners Taffy Howell, 59, and wife Jean, 50, both rugby fans, were shocked when they realised he was a rugby fan too, reports The Sun.

Taffy said: ”He talks, he swears at the ref, and he says Glawsterrr, which sounds like Gloucester with an accent.

”He’s not the prettiest bird but he’s a lot of fun.”

Jean said they are now trying to teach him to cheer for England during the World Cup Final at the weekend.

She said: ”Seve watched England win last Saturday and he loved it – when I start cheering he gets really excited and sometimes he even asks if I want a beer.

”I’ve tried to teach him to say ‘Come on Jonny’ hopefully he can learn it in time for the World Cup Final.

”I reckon we might just do it and Seve will definitely be cheering the guys on on Saturday.”

Black cabs for Black Cats

Niall Quinn spent £8,000 on taxis to take Sunderland fans home from Cardiff after their flight was grounded.

EasyJet wouldn’t let the flight take off after fans chanted the chairman’s name as he boarded their jet.

The 100 supporters were stranded as it was too late for a train or coach, reports the Mirror.

So Quinn, 40, spent his own cash on 18 cabs to ferry them 300 miles home and rode in one of them himself.

One fan said: ‘We were looking at sleeping in the airport until Niall stepped in. It cost a fortune but it shows he’s the most decent bloke in football. I can’t think of another chairman that would do that.’

The fans were jubilant as they waited on the Bristol airport runway following Saturday’s 1-0 win at promotion rivals Cardiff.

But after easyJet stewards evicted fans they claimed were unruly, the flight missed its take-off slot and was axed.

The airline said they even had to call police and added: ‘We have zero tolerance towards unacceptable behaviour.’

But Quinn said: ‘I and my staff were on board and vehemently oppose the airline’s view. A few had been drinking but it was very good-natured.

‘Thankfully, everyone returned home safely. To any fans who still feel aggrieved, remember the three points came home as well.’

 

 

 

True Story.

Dry and Dangerous

 

The Chihuahua Desert is the largest desert in North America, and
is over 200,000 square miles.

When you mention deserts, most people’s first thought turns to
the more famous arid spots in the world, like the Mojave or the
Sahara, without realizing that a hot time, can be had right here
at home in America.

Deserts are not the sole property of countries around the
equator, where one would expect temperatures to be the hottest,
one of the chief features associated with a desert. In fact,
temperature figures in very few definitions. A middle-ground
description for deserts would be: ‘A region with an average
annual rainfall of 10 inches or less and sparse vegetation,
typically having thin, dry, and crumbly soil. A desert has an
aridity index greater than 4.0′.

The United States is home to the largest one in North America,
the Chihuahuan Desert, a 200,000-mile stretch of yuccas, agaves,
and creosote bushes. It crosses three states- Arizona, New
Mexico and Texas, and sits right on the Mexican border.

The less than ten inches of rain a year, restricts vegetation to
certain species and their variations, including Mormon Tea,
Honey mesquite, and white-thorn. The native plants flourish in a
climate that can be deadly hot in summer, but pleasantly cool in
winter.

 

True Story 2

Marathon on the Mats
The 1912, a wrestling match in Stockholm between Finn Alfred
Asikainen and Russian Martin Klein lasted more than 11 hours.
Klein eventually won, but was to tired to participate in the
championship match.  

 
The Olympics have given us many memorable moments, where
spectators and competitors wait with baited breath, and each
second stretches out until it seems like hours. But at the
Stockholm Olympics in 1912, not one, but two Greco-Roman matches
would turn into marathons.

The style of wrestling itself, originated in the days of the
first Olympics, and was resurrected in 1896 as part of the
modern Games. Freestyle, which allows the use of the legs, was
added in 1912, although it was dropped for the Stockholm Games.
Whether that would have affected the mind-numbing siege in the
middleweight semi-final, was a moot point.

Martin Klein for Russian, and Alfred Asikainen of Finland,
grappled for a record 11 hours and 40 minutes, before Klein
managed to pin his opponent. But he was so exhausted by the
prolonged bout, he could not even attempt the final, and the
gold medal went by default, to Claes Johanson of Sweden.

Running a close second for length, with an even more bizarre
outcome, was the heavyweight class. Anders Ahgren of Sweden,
wrestled Ivar Bohling of Finland for nine hours in the final,
before the judges called a halt, not because of concern for the
athletes, but because the panel considered neither one of them
superior enough to be declared the winner. The rules of the
sport require that the winner of a match be of superior skills,
and since neither of them qualified, both were awarded silver
medals.
 

True Story 3

First To The Fin-Ish

The fastest shark is the ‘Shortfin Mako,’ which can swim as fast as sixty miles per hour. 

Silently, a fin cuts the water. The triangular shape zooms towards the hapless human paddling along in the shallows of the ocean. He turns and spots the fin. But can he escape those ferocious teeth in time? That would depend on how far he is from shore, and whether the swimmer is facing a Shortfin Mako shark, the fastest known shark species, capable of dashes that reach 32kph or 20mph. So speedy is the Shorfin, it can overtake delicious morsels for their daily menu, like tuna and swordfish. The same strength that allows it to swim fast, also powers mighty leaps out of the water, as high as 20 feet. For this reason, the Shortfin has become highly sought after for sport fishing.

A Shortfin Mako is recognizable by its cylinder shape, and smaller dorsal fin, as well as the caudal keep to its tail. Not to mention, those all too visible teeth, which show even when their mouths are closed. The teeth come in handy for a diet that tends to be on the crunchy side, with a taste for bony delights like swordfish, mackerel and tuna.

While found around the world, they prefer warmer waters with temperatures of over 60F. They also tend to hang out in shallow waters, or the upper levels of deeper regions, with a preference for anything from the surface down to 500 feet.

 Humour.

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer wait for a particularly slow
group of golfers. The engineer fumes, ‘What’s with these guys?
We’ve been waiting for 15 minutes!’

The pastor says, ‘Hey, here comes the groundskeeper. Let’s have
a word with him.’

‘Say, George, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather
slow, aren’t they?’ the doctor asks.

The groundskeeper tells them that the other golfers are a group
of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving the clubhouse
from a fire and that they come and play for free whenever they
want.

The group is silent for a moment.

The pastor says, ‘That’s so sad. I will say a special prayer for
them tonight.’

The doctor says, ‘Good idea. I’m going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for
them.’

The engineer says, ‘Why can’t these guys play at night?’

 


Waspish Problem

The man who is the world’s leading expert on wasps is walking through Boston one day when he passes an old vinyl record shop.

Looking in the window, an album catches his eye: ‘The Sounds of Wasps from Around the World’. He enters the store and asks the salesgirl if he can listen to the album.

‘Sure…just go into the booth and put on the headphones,’ replies the shop assistant.

He does this and listens to ten minutes of buzzing noises until he can take no more…..he leaves the booth and says to the salesgirl, ‘I’m an expert on wasps and I have to say that I didn’t recognise any of those noises’.

‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ answers the assistant, ‘I was playing you the B(ee) side.’

 


The Kitchen Saga
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband when he burst into the kitchen.

‘Careful,’ he cried, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my word! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful … CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’

The wife stared at him in amazement, ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’

The husband calmly replied, ‘I wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.’

You Live in New York City when…
1. You say ‘the city’ and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is ‘nature,’
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You’ve worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You Live in the Deep South when…
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2.’ya’ll’ is singular and ‘all ya’ll’ is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, ‘You ain’t from ’round here, are Ya?’
4. ‘He needed killin’ ‘ is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.

Tithing

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for several weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her one day. ‘Ma’am, I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,’ he stated.

‘Why yes,’ she replied, ‘every week my son sends me money, and since I don’t need it all, I give $1000.00 to the church.’

The pastor replied… ‘That’s wonderful, how much does he send you?’

The old lady said…. ‘Oh, around $20,000 a week.’

The pastor was amazed… ‘Your son is very successful, what does he do for a living?

‘He is a veterinarian,’ she answered.

‘That is a very honorable profession, ‘the pastor says. ‘Where does he practice?’

The old lady said proudly….’Well, he has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno.’

The Parrots

A woman goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, ‘Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.’ ‘What do they say?’ the priest inquired. ‘They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’ ‘That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed, ‘I can see why you are embarrassed.’

He thought a minute and then said, ‘You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I’m sure your parrots will stop saying that…that phrase in no time.’ ‘Thank you,’ the woman responded, ‘this may very well be the solution.’

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in, she saw his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’ There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, ‘Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!’

Indians and Astronauts

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training.

One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks. The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people: ‘What are these guys in the big suits doing?’

One of the astronauts said that they were practicing for a trip to the moon.

When his son relayed this comment the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon.

Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said, ‘Why certainly!’ and told an assistant to get a tape recorder.

The Navajo elder’s comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said. The son laughed uproariously. But he refused to translate. So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly but also refused to translate the elder’s message to the moon.

Finally, an official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing the translator relayed the message:

‘Watch out for these assholes. They have come to steal your land.’

 Contributors Required

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