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Sarsfields Weekly Newsletter.

November 8, 2018

 

THE SASH  July 8th 2008

 

The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.

 

SFC Round1 Sarsfields 0-11  Suncroft 0-6

 

Sarsfields opened their championship campaign with a hard fought 5-point win over Suncroft on Friday night. Level at 4 points apiece at half time, Sarsfields looked to have the advantage in the second half as the faced into the Town end with the wind at their backs. Thus it proved, as Sarsfields went 3 points up; 7-4 within 5 minutes of the restart. Once Sarsfields got ahead there was no way back for Suncroft in a second half that threatened to boil over as referee Seamus McKiernan made some bizarre decisions to say the least. While Sarsfields will not be over happy with their performance nevertheless a championship win is a win and at no stage in the second half did they look likely to lose. Full match report will be posted on the Website tomorrow.

 

Well done to the Girls U14 team who got to the Feile  All- Ireland semi-final where they lost out to Kilmacud Crokes. It was a great achievement by the team and mentors Anne Nolan, Seamus McCabe, Eamon Harnett and Tony McConnell.

 

America’s Hurling Messiah

He has made Milwaukee the hurling capital of the US, writes Seán Ryan, but Dave Olson has even greater plans for the game

Dave Olson is not your stereotypical hurling name, yet he has developed a passion for the game that would equal anything you would find in the hurling heartlands of Munster. A convert from baseball — in which he was good enough to get professional trials — he has all the ardour of the converted in his desire to spread the good news about the game he loves.

Born in Minnesota 45 years ago, he is of Swedish stock, and was raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, a place where the winters are long and the summers short. That is a bit of a drawback when hurling is your game, with the season lasting from April to the end of August.

However, none of this bothers Dave Olson. His only regret is: ‘I wish I had this game when I was a kid.’

In fact, it was only 12 years ago that Dave was introduced to hurling. ‘There was a pub in Milwaukee I would pop into and in ’95-’96, the bartender Tom Mills went to Ireland and came back raging about hurling. ‘You would die for this game’, he told me.

‘There was a Tipperary boy, Dan Quigley, who was a bartender there also and he had the gift of the gab, and between him and Tom they were a good team to talk the game up. I invited Dan and his girlfriend to go camping up north and when we arrived at camp he suddenly said ‘Come on for a puck-around’ and it just felt right. It was natural. Things moved from there. We had tapes sent over, and I started reading books about the game.’

Olson became one of the founders of the Milwaukee Hurling Club — one of 24 in the beginning — but he was the one who stuck at it and brought the club forward to such an extent that he was presented with a President’s Award by Sean Kelly two years ago for his contribution to hurling.

A builder/developer, Olson and his wife Cory have four children — two boys, Conor (22) and Dylan (8) and two girls, Brenna (18) and Devin (10) — all of whom are keen hurlers. Conor, who is in the Air Force and based in Portland, is keen to start a club there.

So how did this Milwaukee miracle come about? How did a hurling club flourish in this very American town to the extent that it has 264 players and only three of them are Irish-born?

‘It’s all word of mouth as far as Milwaukee is concerned,’ Olson explains. ‘The season is short due to the weather patterns here and we have had practice when it was snowing. We practise when it’s freezing and we still get 37 new adults a year signing up, and that’s a 10-year average. Four years ago, we had 51 show up wanting to play.

‘This is our 13th year and last year we won the North American County Board Junior B Championship. That was the men’s first championship, but the women have won two junior championships. We put some priority on the women, they are incredibly important to this club.

‘Women are about 15-17 per cent of the club. The young girls, when they get to 15, move up to adult, because we don’t have a minor grade. And part of their homework going back to school is to get a hurling programme going in their school. I’m expecting a strong surge of young people into the club in the next few years.

‘From 15 up, we have eight teams with squads of 20, men and women playing together, and that’s why we’ve won two camogie championships.’

To get some idea of the standard of play, I asked Seamus Howlin, chairman of the GAA’s Overseas Committee. He was present at the Junior B final and was suitably impressed. ‘They had all the skills, hooking, blocking, striking, so they were obviously well-coached¸ and they put up a big score, which you need skill to do. There were a couple of brothers on the team that I felt if they got more hurling they’d make seniors.’

Six months ago, the GAA recognised Olson’s contribution to Milwaukee’s development by appointing him Hurling Development Officer for the NACB (all of the USA apart from New York). He will be bringing some revolutionary ideas to his task.

‘When we train, everyone trains together,’ he says, ‘the youths alongside the adults, and everyone is ranked on a scale of one to 25. The computer then decides what teams will do best, on paper, for competition all year long. The captains will have 10 different ideas of a team and they decide which selection is best for the club competition-wise.

‘The club comes first and the team second. This means our top players are playing with our lowest-ranked players, who are then forced to keep up.’

The games take place every weekend of the summer from May until August, starting at 9.0am every Sunday until 5.0. Thanks to a good partnership with the City of Milwaukee the club has several locations they can avail of, but they are also very proud of their independence and raise their own funds. Already, Olson has made progress in his role of development officer. ‘Last year there were five or six teams in the Junior C championships, this year there are 13 squads, all mainly American-born.’

Dealing with the media is part of his job and he wasn’t too pleased when the Wall Street Journal put a spin on an interview with him, which suggested that the GAA is dying in North America. When the New York Times called him last Friday, he had to rebut this, pointing out that the Continental Youth Championships in Chicago last year were contested by 114 teams, again mainly American-born.

‘Just getting a picture of the game out there is the big thing,’ he says. ‘I want hurling to be as big as soccer, American football or baseball. It’s one of the most amazing games anyone has ever seen and designed for the American psyche. It’s just a matter of getting the word out and it can go anywhere.

‘And the GAA offers a great ethic for kids as an amateur organisation. In Ireland, the sport’s stars are your next-door neighbours. I just wish I had this as a kid.’

When Nickey Brennan visited Olson last year, the GAA president was shown the garage and was taken aback by what he saw.

‘I never saw so many hurls in one place in my life,’ he told Seamus Howlin. It’s part of what Olson and the Milwaukee Hurling Club do. ‘If anyone needs equipment, their club can call Milwaukee,’ he explains.

‘We bring in 70 dozen hurls a year, 400-plus sliotars, seven dozen helmets. We made helmets mandatory since 2000, following a club referendum,’ said Olson.

Dave Olson helped make possible what many thought was impossible, when he brought hurling to Milwaukee, but the game is thriving there, and now his sights are set on extending the game’s influence right across the North American continent. If anyone can do it, Olson can.

 

 

 

TV3 GAA Fixtures

 


13/7/2008 Connacht Football Final CSFC Galway V Mayo
19/7/2008 Round 1 Qualifiers AIFC
20/7/2008 Ulster Football Final USFC
26/7/2008 Round 2 Qualifiers AIFC
2/8/2008 Round 3 Qualifiers AIFC

 

On RTE: The Sunday Game Live Fixtures

 

 

 

July 12 All Ireland Qualifiers

July 13 Munster Senior Hurling Championship Final

July 19 All Ireland Qualifier. Kildare V Cavan 7pm St Conleth’s Park.

July 20 Leinster Senior Football Championship Final

July 26 All Ireland Qualifiers

July 27 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship Quarter-Finals

Aug 2/3/4 All Ireland Qualifiers

Aug 9 All Ireland Senior Football Championship Quarter-Finals

Aug 10 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship and Minor Hurling

Championship Semi-Finals

Aug 17 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship and Minor Hurling

Championship Semi-Finals

Aug 24 All Ireland Senior Football Championship and Minor Football

Championship Semi-Finals

Aug 31 All Ireland Senior Football Championship and Minor Football

Championship Semi-Finals

Sept 7 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship and Minor Hurling

Championship Finals

Sept 14 All Ireland Senior Camogie Final

Sept 21 All Ireland Senior Football Championship and Minor Football

Championship Finals

 

Sarsfields Fixtures for the coming week.

Colgan’s (Naas) Ltd

Minor Football A Championship 2008 Wednesday 9th July at at 7.30PM

At Kill                           Maynooth V Sarsfields             Jerome Higgins

Friday July 11th. Liffey Champion Craobh Iomana Soisir B 2008  at 7.30PM

At Ros Glas            Naomh Lorcán V Na Sáirsealaigh        Declan McGrath

 

Saturday 12Th July 2008

Leinster Leader Senior Football League Division 1 R15 at 7.00 PM

Sarsfields V St Laurence’s            Mick Monahan

Monday 14Th July 2008

Tom Cross Senior Football league Division 5 R12 2008  at 7.30PM

 Carbury V Sarsfields             Tom Gordon

The senior B who play in Division 3 of the League have a bye this week.

League Tables

Leinster Leader Senior Football League Division 1 2008

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Played

Won

Drew

Lost

Points

For

Against

Diff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Celbridge

14

10

2

1

23

 10 -136

 5 – 109

42

Moorefield

14

9

1

3

23

 10 -136

 9 -102

37

St Laurence’s

14

8

2

1

21

 7 -120

 5 – 79

47

Sarsfields

14

8

1

4

19

 13 – 123

 7 – 121

20

Monasterevin

14

6

3

4

15

 11 -126

 6 – 114

27

Leixlip

14

6

2

5

14

 5 – 127

 9 – 105

10

Carbury

14

5

2

6

12

 9 -132

 12 -124

-1

Allenwood

14

4

3

6

11

 9 -127

 14 – 118

-6

Ellistown

14

5

1

7

11

 10 -115

 8- 132

-11

Johnstownbridge

13

5

1

6

11

 12 – 103

 9 -116

-4

Rathangan

13

5

1

6

11

 11 – 101

 6 – 131

-15

Kilcock

13

4

2

6

10

 8 – 103

 9 – 104

-4

Round Towers

13

3

4

6

10

 7 – 99

 10 – 105

-15

Athy

13

4

1

8

9

 8 -122

 8 – 138

-16

Kilcullen

13

3

3

7

9

 6 – 125

 16 -154

-59

Clane

12

1

1

10

3

 9 -89

 13 – 132

-55

 

 

 


 GAA and other Quotes.

“He has the rosy cheeks… every father would be delighted if his daughter brought him home” Joe Brolly on the Sunday Game before Sunday’s Munster Final speaking about Kerry’s full forward Plunket Donaghy

Remember that Kerry have been playing with 15 players for the past few minutes”, RTE Commentator Marty Morrissey during Sunday’s Munster Final after Daire O’ Shea followed his brother Mark to the sideline reducing Kerry to 13 men
‘After watching Watford against Manchester City last night that (Barcelona) was like a bubble bath. It was beautiful” Eamon Dunphy

‘Usually it takes a bottle of Bacardi and a gallon of Coke to get John out of his seat.’ Eanmon Dunphy

I know nothing about rugby, but Jonny Wilkinson is still my favourite quarterback… How did the referee determine when a foul had been committed given that all the players were beating the crap out of each other more or less continuously?
       
– Toby Young, an Englishman proudly ignorant of rugby, ‘The Spectator’

American football is Rugby after a visit from a Health and Safety inspector.

         Anonymous

Sport is dead when citius, altius, fortius is replaced by fixius, drugius, corruptius. We have reached the logical end of sport. Everywhere you look, you find stories of people who have taken the sport out of sport. We expect to hear the decisions on the Italian football match-fixing scandal. The football itself is a sham, going through the motions. The real action takes place on the telephone in the weeks before the game. In England, three jockeys have been suspended from riding after being accused by police of fixing races. The dominant point of this year’s Tour de France is not the pedal-pushing but the second significant drugs scandal in eight years: the revelation of the incontrovertible fact that professional cycling is institutionally corrupt. These three things — match-fixing, race-fixing, institutionalised drugging — come down to the same thing, and it is the greatest error in all of professional sport. The error in question is that sport is about winning. Winning at all costs. That winning is not the most important thing, but the only thing. If you sincerely believe that winning is everything, all the rest follows. If the only ethic is victory, then these things are not options. They are demanded: the least you can do… The essential fact about sport is that you don’t know what happens next. No one does. We watch sport not for the victory, but for the struggle. In other words, those that seek victory at all costs are destroying sport. They are creating a spectacle in which we, the punters, have no interest. People are far less interested in track and field athletics than they once were because there has been too much drugging… Professionalism will be the death of sport; or it will, if we carry on believing in it. But at last, we are beginning to see the price of winning at all costs.
        – Simon Barnes, with a foreboding warning, ‘The Times’

Doctors and scientists said that breaking the four-minute mile was impossible, that one would die in the attempt. Thus, when I got up from the track after collapsing at the finish line, I figured I was dead.

Roger Bannister (After becoming the first person to break the four-minute mile, 1952)

 

Champions aren’t made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them — a desire, a dream, a vision.

Muhammad Ali, American Boxer

 

          

More Stupid Quotes.

‘That’s inches away from being millimetre perfect.’
– Ted Lowe

 

 

‘If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn’t own anything.  My wife’s a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I haven’t sold them.’
– Ted Turner, Media Mogul, on selling off his money losing properties

 

‘I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.’
Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer

 

‘If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.’
– Terry Venables

 

Lawyer: ‘Sir, what is your IQ?’
Defendant: ‘Well, I can see pretty well, I think.’
– Testimony from court records

 

‘It’s like an Alcatraz around my neck’
– Thomas Menino, Boston Mayor, on the shortage of city parking spaces

 

‘He was a man of great statue’
– Thomas Menino, Bostom Mayor, on former mayor John Collins

 

‘Now, the only thing that remains unresolved is the resolution of the problem.’
– Thomas Wells, Ontario legislature minister

 

‘I was glad to see Italy win.  All the guys on the team were Italians.’
– Tom Lasorda, former Dodger manager on World Cup soccer tournament

‘Did people build this, or did Indians?’
– Tourist question at Mesa Verde National Park

 

‘We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.’
– Vlade Divac, NBA basketball player

 

Minks are mean little critters.  Vicous, horrible little animals who eat their own.  They’re not beavers.  I wouldn’t wear beavers.  I’d rather have a mink coat made of mean little critters that are killed in a very nice way and treated nicely for their short, mean lives so that I could keep warm.’
– Valerie Perrine, Actress

‘I just don’t think America wants a female host.  It’s like men don’t walk around in skirts in this country.  Why change a good thing?’
– Vanna White

‘I don’t know all the certain words to word it.’
– Vanilla Ice, Rap Star, on why he hired a ghost-writer for his autobiography

‘They are not jackbooted Nazi thugs. They are merely German policemen in spiffy uniforms here to help us.’
– Vichy government (1941 – 1945)

Humour

 

Spaghetti Problem

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. ‘But how will I let you know the baby is born?’ she asked.

He replied, ‘Just send me a postcard and write ‘spaghetti’ on the back. I’ll take care of expenses.’ Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by, and then one day the doctor’s wife called him at the office and said, ‘Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don’t understand what it means.’

The doctor said, ‘Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you.’

Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.

So the wife picked up the card and read: ‘Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti – Two with sausage and meatballs; two without.’

 

Absurd Warning Labels

1. On a cardboard windshield sun shade:  ‘Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.’

2. On an infant’s bathtub: ‘Do not throw baby out with bath water.’

3. On a roll of Life Savers: ‘Not for use as a flotation device.’

4. On a Pentium chip: ‘If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2 shipping and a $3 handling charge, for a total of $4.97.’

5. On a disposable razor: ‘Do not use this product during an earthquake.’

6. On pantyhose: ‘Not to be used in the commission of a felony.’

7. On work gloves: ‘For best results, do not leave at crime scene.’

8. On Odor Eaters: ‘Do not eat.’

9. On a blender: ‘Not for use as an aquarium.’

10. On a wet suit: ‘Capacity, One Person.’

Mysterious Phrases Explained

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper.

‘IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN’…
I didn’t look up the original reference.

‘A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT’…
These data are practically meaningless.

‘WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS’…
An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

‘THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY’…
The other results didn’t make any sense.

‘TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN’…
This is the prettiest graph.

‘THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT’…
I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

‘IN MY EXPERIENCE’…
Once.

‘IN CASE AFTER CASE’…
Twice.

‘IN A SERIES OF CASES’…
Thrice.

‘IT IS BELIEVED THAT’…
I think.

‘IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT’…
A couple of others think so, too.

‘CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE’ …
Wrong.

‘ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS’…
Rumour has it.

‘A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS’…
A wild guess.

‘A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA’…
Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a cup of tea.

‘IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS’…
I don’t understand it.

‘AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES’…
They don’t understand it either.

‘THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS’…
Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.

‘A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY’…
A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

‘IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD’…
I quit.


You know it is time to reassess your relationship with your computer when….

1. You wake up at 4 O’clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed.

2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.

4. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems.

5. You start using smileys :-) in your snail mail.

6. You find yourself typing ‘com’ after every period when using a word processor.

7. You can’t correspond with your mother because she doesn’t have a computer.

8. When your email box shows ‘no new messages’ and you feel really depressed.

9. You don’t know the gender of your three closest friends because they have nondescript screen name and you never bothered to ask.

10. You move into a new house and you decide to ‘Netscape’ before you landscape.

11. Your family always knows where you are.

12. In real life conversations, you don’t laugh, you just say ‘LOL, LOL’.

13. After reading this list, you forward it to a friend!


Priestly Duties

A  woman  takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work.  Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the press and shuts the door.  Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the press with her son.  The little boy says, ‘Dark in here’ The man says, ‘Yes it is.’ Her son says – ‘I have a skateboard
Man – ‘That’s nice.’
Son – ‘Want to buy it?’
Man – ‘No thanks.’
Son – ‘My Dad’s outside.’
Man – ‘How much?’
Son – ‘€500.00.’

In the next few weeks it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the press   together
Son – ‘Dark in here.’
Man – ‘Yes, it is.’
Son  – ‘I have a helmet.’
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, ‘How much?’
Son – ‘€200.00.’
Man – ‘Fine.’ “I’ll take it.
A few days later the father says to the boy, ‘Get your skateboard and helmet and show me how you can skate..
His son says, ‘I can’t, I sold them.’
The father asks, ‘How much did you sell them for?’
Son – ‘€700.00.’
The father says, ‘That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost.  I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.’
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, ‘Dark in here.’ The priest says, ‘Dear God not you again.’

 

 

Wild West.

Two Irishmen are in the Wild West. They enter Dodge City and notice a sign
in a shop saying ‘Indian scalps-$10 each.’ They enter the shop and are given
a rifle, ammunition and told that for every Indian scalp they bring back
they will get $10.

So they go out into the desert and hide behind a rock beside an oasis in the
hope that an Indian would come to drink. Sure enough, 10 minutes later a
brave approaches on his horse and gets down to drink. Paddy shoots the
Indian and goes over to scalp him.

Just as Paddy gets out his knife, Murphy looks up and sees up and sees Chief
Geronimo and his 100,000 braves on a ridge. ‘Don’t look now’ says Murphy,
‘But we are about to become millionaires!’

Murphy the Spy.

 

During WW2 a German spy was trained to go to Ireland. ‘We need to keep an eye on what the Irish are up to,’ said the Herr Kommandant.

 

‘We will parachute you into Ireland, where you will go to the local town and ask for Murphy. He is your contact. You will say to him, ‘The weather could change by Tuesday.’ ‘ 

 

The German duly landed in Ireland, buried his parachute and set off for the town. On the way he saw a local farm worker in a field.

 

‘Güt Morg… I mean, Good Morning. Vould you know vair I can find Mister Murphy?’ 

 

‘Well, Sir,’ answers the man. ‘ It all depends on which Murphy you want. We have a Father Murphy; a Doctor Murphy; Murphy in the post-office; Murphy the Chemist and, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy.’

 

‘Oh mein Gott!’ thinks the German. Then he has an idea. He says, ‘The weather could change by Tuesday!’

 

A beatific smile of recognition illuminates the Irishman’s face.

 

‘Ah,’ says he, ‘You’ll be wanting Murphy, the spy!’

 

Bewildered Bush

 Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,

‘You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to, to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?’

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, ‘Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?’

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. ‘You really ARE Einstein!’ he says. ‘Welcome to heaven!’

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.

Picasso asks, ‘Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?’

Saint Peter says, ‘Go ahead.’

Picasso erases Einstein’s equations and sketches a truly
stunning mural
with just a few strokes of chalk.

Saint Peter claps. ‘Surely you are the great
artist
you claim to be!’ he says. ‘Come on in!’

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, ‘Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?’

George W. looks bewildered and says, ‘Who are Einstein and Picasso?’

Saint Peter sighs and says, ‘All right George, you can come in.’

 

 

 

Missing Ladle

Father Flannigan, an elderly priest invited Father O’Connell, a younger
priest from a neighbouring parish who was fresh from the seminary, over for
dinner. During the meal, the young priest couldn’t help noticing how
attractive and shapely the housekeeper was. Over the course of the evening
he started to wonder if there was more between the elderly priest and the
housekeeper than met the eye.

Reading the young priest’s thoughts, the elderly priest volunteered, ‘I
know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my
housekeeper is purely professional.’

About a week later the housekeeper came to the elderly priest and said,
‘Father Flannigan, ever since the Father O’Connell came to dinner, I’ve
been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle.   You don’t suppose
he took it do you?’

The priest said, ‘Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write him a letter
just to be  sure.’   So he sat down and wrote:

‘Dear Father O’Connell

I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation at dinner the other night and hope we
have the opportunity to do so again.

On another matter.  We had a beautiful silver ladle which was a gift from a
parishioner that comes to visit from time to time.  The ladle has gone
missing and I would be very embarrassed to invite her over and she notices
 that the ladle is missing.  It is very important that it be found.

Now, I’m not saying that you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and
I’m not saying you did not take a gravy ladle.   But the fact remains
that it has been missing ever since you were here.’

Several days later the elderly priest received a letter from the young
priest which read:

‘Dear Father Flannigan,

I also enjoyed our dinner and conversation and hope note only that we do so
again, but also that I be permitted to return the favour.

On the other matter.  Now, I’m not saying that you do sleep with  your
housekeeper, and I’m not saying that you do not sleep with your
housekeeper.  But the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own
bed, you would have found the gravy ladle by now.’

Contributors Required

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