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Sarsields Newsletter

November 8, 2018

THE SASH Friday May 28th 2010

 

The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.     

 

Cambell’s Cubs Show their Claws

 Paddy Cambell’s Cubs continued their good run of form when they gave Ellistown a mauling in SFL Div5 on Monday night when they comprehensively defeated them 3-23 to 0-3 with excellent displays by Paddy Keogh, Conor Walsh, Dermot Walsh, Cathal McLoughlin and Niall Murphy.

Sarsfields V Monasterevin. 

The Sarsfields V Monasterevin league fixture has been rescheduled for Tuesday night next June 2nd in Monasterevin at 7.30 instead of Sunday.

The hurlers lost out to Ardclough away last night in the intermediate league by 2-11 to 0-11.

Moorefield V Sarsfields

On Sunday June 6th of the bank holiday weekend Sarsfields play Moorefields in an over 40’s game at 3pm in Sarsfields Park in aid of Michael Garry House.

The Sash Relaunched

The recently re launched Sash Magazine is now on sale in the clubhouse, O’Conner’s Centra, Johnstons and Buckleys’s  in Allenview Heights. In order to avoid having advertisements in the magazine there is a €2 charge to cover production costs.  It will be published quarterly and the next issue will be in mid July after the All Ireland Feile. Contributions are most welcome from any section of the club or individual. Please send articles to PRO tonyr06@eircom.net.

 

Leinster GAA News
Summary of Playing Rule Changes 2010

The GAA Congress 2010 passed a number of playing rule changes relevant
to football and hurling which will come into effect in all games played
on or after May 15th 2010. In total there are six changes specific to
football only and three specific to hurling, while a further six changes
affect both codes, A summary of the changes is as follows:

Football Only:
1.        Handpass - If a player handpasses the ball using the open hand,
there must be a definite underhand striking action.
2.        Penalty Kicks - All penalty kicks will now be taken from 11
metres out
3.        Kick Outs - All kick outs will now be from the 13 metre line
4.        Sideline kicks - Line balls must be kicked from outside the
boundary line
5.        Illegal Charge - It is illegal for a charge to be made on a
player kicking the ball.
6.        Definition of bounce - The redefinition of the bounce has the
effect that the 'Basketball Type', bounce, per se, is not a foul.

Hurling only:
1.        Puck Outs - The penalty for taking a puck-out from outside the
small rectangle is changed from the award of a 65m free to the
opposition to a throw in the ball on the defenders' 20m line.
2.        Handpass - The ball must be released and struck with a definite
striking action of the hand
3.        Penalties - Both attackers and defenders must remain outside the
20m line and the arc until the ball is struck from a penalty and the
three defenders on the line must not move off the line until the ball is
struck.

Both Hurling and Football:
1.        Restarting Play - If play is stopped by the referee to enable a
seriously injured player to be treated, play will now resume with a free
to the team that had possession. However it will not be permitted to
score from such a free (if neither team is 'in possession', play shall
re-start with a throw in)
2.        Throw ins - when the play is being restarted by a throw-in, this
must take place a minimum of 13 metres from the sideline
3.        Advantage - A referee will now signal that advantage is being
played by raising his arm
4.        Extra Time - Extra time consists of 10 minutes per half only.
The provision for two additional periods of 5 minutes per half has been
removed
5.        Boundary Lines - The penalty for a player deliberately going
outside the boundary lines of the pitch to gain an advantage has changed
from a caution to a free.
6.        Charge - A charge is now defined as 'shoulder to shoulder'
rather than 'side to side'


RTÉ LIVE TV GAA CHAMPIONSHIP FOOTBALL & HURLING FIXTURES

MAY 16 DERRY V ARMAGH, 2PM KERRY V TIPPERARY, 4PM

MAY 23 MEATH V OFFALY, 2PM ANTRIM V TYRONE, 4PM

MAY 29 GALWAY V WEXFORD, 7PM (H)

MAY 30 DONEGAL V DOWN, 2PM CORK V TIPPERARY, 4PM (H)

JUNE 5 SLIGO V MAYO, 5PM LOUTH/LONGFORD V KILDARE, 7PM

JUNE 6 MONAGHAN V DERRY/ARMAGH, 2PM KERRY/TIPPERARY V CORK, 4PM

JUNE 7 WATERFORD V CLARE, 3PM (H)

JUNE 12 CAVAN V FERMANAGH, 5.15PM

JUNE 13 MEATH/OFFALY V LAOIS, 2PM

JUNE 19 ANTRIM/TYRONE V DONEGAL/DOWN, 5.15PM

JUNE 26 LTH/LONG/KILD V WIC/CAR/WTH, 4PM ALL IRELAND QUALIFIERS

JULY 4 LEINSTER SHC FINAL, 4PM (H)

JULY 10 ALL IRELAND QUALIFIERS

JULY 11 LEINSTER SFC FINAL, 2PM MUNSTER SHC FINAL, 4PM (H)

JULY 17 ALL IRELAND QUALIFIERS

JULY 18 ULSTER SFC FINAL, 2PM

JUNE 24 ALL IRELAND QUALIFIERS

JULY 25 ALL IRELAND SHC QUARTER FINALS (H)

JULY 31/AUG 1/2 ALL IRELAND SFC QUARTER-FINALS

AUG 8 ALL IRELAND SHC SEMI-FINAL (H)

AUG 15 ALL IRELAND SHC SEMI-FINAL (H)

AUG 22 ALL IRELAND SFC SEMI-FINAL

AUG 29 ALL IRELAND SFC SEMI-FINAL

SEPT 5 ALL IRELAND SHC FINAL (H)

SEPT 19 ALL IRELAND SFC FINAL

 

 

Sasrsfields On Facebook 

Sarsfields now have 352 Fans on Facebook.

Sarsfields now has a Facebook Page where all sections can now post information directly relating to games, results events and photos etc. In addition there is a discussion forum. Link to Sarsfields  Facebook page can be found by scrolling down the home page of the Sarsfields website.

 

Kildare’s Leinster Senior, and Minor Fixtures for 2010

 

 

 Leinster Senior football Championship.

 

 



FIRST ROUND

 

Louth v Longford

23.05.2010

 

 

Wicklow v Carlow

16.05.2010

 

 

Meath v Offaly

23.05.2010

 

 

QUARTER-FINALS

 

 

 

Louth/Longford v Kildare

05.06.2010

Navan/Tullamore

 

Wicklow/Carlow v Westmeath

06.06.2010

 

 

Meath/Offaly v Laois

13.06.2010

Croke Park

 

Wexford v Dublin

13.06.2010

Croke Park

 

SEMI-FINALS

 

 

 

Louth/Longford/Kildare v Wicklow/Carlow/Westmeath

26.06.2010

 Note Saturday 26th. venue

To be announced 

 

Meath/Offaly/Laois v Wexford/Dublin

27.06.2010

 

 

CRAOBH

11.07.2010

Croke Park

 

 

 

 

 

Support The Sash with Vodafone

Sign up to the Vodafone Support Your GAA Club programme to donate 5% of
your Pay Monthly bill or Top Up to Sarsfields – without it costing you a
single cent! Contact Shane Campbell or visit the Vodafone web site.

More Stupid Quotes. 

'I will not withdraw, even if Laura and Barney are the only
 ones supporting me.'
- President George W. Bush, talking to key Republicans about
  Iraq, as quoted by Bob Woodward

 

'I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top
off.' Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot.
I'm not stupid.'
  - Paris Hilton

 

'It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.'
- Marilyn Monroe when asked about a calendar shoot.

 

'Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's
 tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea.''
- Jessica Simpson on NewleyWeds

 

Strange/Bizarre/Quirkie News.   

 

Frog March in Greece

THESSALONIKI, Greece - Greek officials say a horde of frogs
has forced the closure of a key northern highway for two
hours.

Thessaloniki traffic police chief Giorgos Thanoglou says
'millions' of the amphibians covered the tarmac Wednesday
near the town of Langadas, some 12 miles east of
Thessaloniki.

'There was a carpet of frogs,' he said.

Authorities closed the highway after three car drivers
skidded off the road trying to dodge the frogs. No human
injuries were reported.

Thanoglou said the amphibians probably left a nearby lake to
look for food.


 

True Story. 

 

Police dog attacks footballers

Three players were bitten after a police dog ran on to a football pitch during an amateur game. As reported by the BBC on Monday, 28 October, 2002.

The German shepherd fled from his trainer during an exercise at a disused building close to the pitch.

Craig Jackson (no5) was one of the players attacked.
It headed towards the field and snatched a linesman's flag before moving towards the players at Scunthorpe's Brumby Hall ground on Saturday afternoon.

The injured players Steve Baker, 19, [not Will's wife] Craig Jackson, 18, and Michael Stones, 18, were bitten on the arms and back and were treated at Scunthorpe General Hospital.
The game between Appleby Frodingham and Lincoln Moorlands had to be abandoned after the incident.

Lincoln Moorlands manager Martin Burnett said: 'There were two children's games on the next field and I dread to think what could have happened if the dog had gone on there instead.  'Also the dog wasn't fully grown and it could have been even worse if it was a larger animal. 'It was scary as the dog was out of control, it was not listening to its handler and nobody could do anything. 'I have been in football for 22 years and I have never seen anything like this before.'

A Humberside Police spokesman said: 'The people injured have had their injuries photographed, the dog handler has submitted a full report to the police dog section and we will fully look into what went on.'

 

Humour. 

 

Quality Control

A man boarded a plane with six kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him
leaned over to him and asked, 'Are all of those kids yours?'


He replied, 'No Ma'am, I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.'


DAMN, I WISH I COULD THINK THAT QUICKLY!

 

An odd miscellany of trivial facts;
Or a trivial miscellany of odd facts

In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes.

It's illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while you're sitting on a curb in St. Louis.

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
It's against the law to burp, or sneeze in a certain church in

Omaha, Nebraska
Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second.

Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.

Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult.

The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad.
In Natoma, Kansas, it's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits.

Nearly all lipstick contains fish scales.
Almost half the newspapers in the world are published in the United States and Canada.

 

 

Bill, Jim and Scott were staying in a 75-story hotel. One
afternoon they were told that the elevators were broken and
they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to
their room on the top floor.

Bill said, 'The climb will go faster if we distract
ourselves. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing
songs for the next 25 flights and Scott can tell sad stories
for the rest of the way.'

Bill started telling jokes and didn't stop until the 26th
floor. Then Jim began to sing and kept going until the 51st
floor. Then Jim stopped singing and told Scott to start
telling sad stories.

'I will tell my saddest story first,' Scott said. 'Once upon
a time there was a man who left his hotel room key in the
car...'

 

 

Jurist imprudence

Please, Your Honor, I'd like to be excused from jury duty,'
pleaded an anxious-looking man.

'Why should I excuse you?' asked the judge.

'You see, I owe a man fifty dollars, and he's leaving in a
few hours for a post abroad. He'll be there for years and I
want to catch him before he leaves, for it may be my last
chance to repay him.'

'Excused,' stated the judge coldly. 'We don't want anyone on
the jury who can lie like that.' 

 

Medical Snip-pets

1) Doctor:
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and when he examines you he says, 'I wish you'd come to me sooner.'

2) Anaesthetist :
Dwayne is recovering from surgery in St Peter's, Chertsey, UK, having had a local anaesthetic when a nurse asks him how he�s feeling. 'I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery'.

'What did he say?' asks the nurse.

'OOPS!'

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